Jangle Jangle

Motorcycle emptiness !

2011-09-10T14:41:00.006+01:00

A much needed up-date. Part 2

Our previous post of hoping 2010 would see more miles than 2009 ended in disaster ! when what actually happened was we did less.

Mike has still not replaced his Blackbird with anything other than gadgets for his camera, Neil has either been busy working away or rebuilding his Triumph, Gaz has moved house and I've been reintroduced to canoeing, which was a big part of mine and Mikes life from our late teens to maybe early thirties.

Myself and Neil did manage the 5th Mid-Shires camp over, again a fantastic weekend organised by Richard and Monica from the Moto-Guzzi club.

In July i did manage a week long trip to Ireland, but due to the awfull weather i didn't risk removing my camera from the 3 plastic bags that were protecting it, other than at the Giants Causeway

exactly the same rock formation as the photo from Iceland from behind the waterfall !

(only one letter different in the names so why not ?)

Junior Jangler's Training Weekend

2010-05-12T19:55:00.014+01:00

Right then, lets hope 2010 manages to see a few more motorcycle miles than 2009.

On the May bank holiday for the previous 2 years a group of various janglers have set off to a bike do organised by two members of the Moto Guzzi club ( see previous posts of Mid-shires camp). This year saw Neil, Neil's brother Paul, Paul's son Dean and my son Zach along with myself heading off to a new venue in the Oswestry area for the 4th Mid-shires camp over. This year the venue was at a cricket club, meaning nice flat grass for camping, a club house for beer and also a very welcome full breakfast for less than a fiver.

A week and a half before this do, I had a phone call from Neil who informed me that he had done his best Steve McQueen impression and the Yella Belly was lying in a ditch somewhere in Wales very close to a place called Clatter (how very apt). After a visit to the shed, some new handle bars were handed over, some straightening of the seat rails (my homemade top box rack was so strong that the weight in the top box was enough to bend the seat rails when Neil jumped a 250KG bike 3ft in the air!)

Neil now sporting an L plate for obvious reasons.

Paul's bike is a Suzuki VX800 previously owned by Neil (I'm surprised it still looks so good)

Richard, the organiser of this weekend had arranged a ride out on Saturday morning through some stunning country side and this picture was taken at a much needed tab break.

When I said we were going camping that's not what I meant Zach !

Saturday afternoon there was once again a guest speaker who has written over 100 books on Motto Guzzi and Ducati bikes. Saturday evening was probably the most enjoyable evening of music I've had in many years with the appearance of a band called the Re-Entrants. Two Men, two ukuleles and that's it (forget Goerge Formby and youtube them). You would not believe it possible. Brittney Spears to Motorhead, just fantastic.

Once again, many thanks to Richard and Monica or a fantastic weekend.

A Jangling Update

2009-08-20T11:45:00.003+01:00

It's been a while since any posts were put on here which is a disgrace really. But for various reasons there hasn't really been a lot to report on the biking front. I sold my bike early on this year to raise a bit of money for a business venture and since then I've lost the urge to ride a bike and have wrapped myself up in photography, a passion of mine. I said in an earlier post way back this year that Neil had sold Yellow Belly, his Yamaha XZR 1300. This was miss reported as I misunderstood which bike he had sold. To cut a long story short, Neil lent me his bike just after I'd sold mine so I could go on a bike rally with Loz, and due to Neil working away for most of the year his bike has sat in my garage ever since. A few weeks ago I was in my car one Thursday travelling to Wales to take some photos when Loz came past on his motorbike loaded up with all his camping gear. So we pulled over, had a chat and I decided that the following day I'd jump on Neil's bike and meet up with Loz in Wales for an overnight camp. Riding through Wales on a blistering hot Friday I realised just how much I'd missed riding, and my love of riding was restored. I also realised just how nice it was to ride a comfy "sensible" bike where a gentle plod is the order of the day. The bike was so comfy, I suffered with no aching wrists or numb arse which ultimately allowed me to concentrate and enjoy my riding a lot more. This made me take a whole new look at what bike I would buy next and I decided that rather than buy a Triumph Sprint ST, which I'd got my heart set on, I might just purchase an XJR instead. Since then Neil has mentioned he might sell his bike through lack of use so it's a possiblity I might end up with Yellow Belly. If not, I'm still most likely going to buy an XJR. This will no doubt come under ridicule from Gaz and Dean the speed freaks.

Talking of Dean, this year he has bought and sold more bikes than I can remember and is currently bikeless as he's gone and bought himself a Saphire Cosworth.

The only bike trip of note this year is when Neil took Loz's Yamaha XT to Norway but as yet I haven't seen any photos or heard much about the trip.

So that's about it really, just like last year it's been a fairly lousy year so far for biking so things can only improve. And I'll make a concious effort to post more stuff on here in the future.

Hummm

2009-02-21T04:05:00.001Z

ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ

For Sale

2009-02-17T08:52:00.005Z

If anyone's interested I'm selling my Blackbird. It's a 53 plate, done 14k miles, has nearly new tyres and comes with twelve months MOT and 6 months tax. Yours for £4000.00 ono

Matt & Ellie's Wedding

2009-02-14T11:41:00.000Z

At last Matt (Joey) finally did the right thing and proposed to Ellie. Surprisingly she actually said yes!

A couple of months later the wedding rings were on their fingers and a good party was being had by all. Normally at this stage I would write a bit of a story but the evenings events are shrouded in fog so it'll be much easier to let the pictures tell the story.

Duncan and Gaz.

Tackleberry and Nicola.

Gaz, Matt, Shaz and Andy.

Neil and Gaz.

Rachel and Jeana. You see, even the bar staff were having a good time.

Jeana and Mellor who looks like he's about to have a major beer spillage.

Loz. "So you want to know what's in my wok, pu............." (I'd love to share the rest pub it's probably unwise)

Neil.

Steve and John.

This is what happens when I give Andy my camera.

And this is what happens when Andy hands me my camera back.

Matt deciding that on his wedding day he should try his hand at pulling a few pints.

Loz....... Gets everywhere the lad does.

Matt's sister Cath and her boyfriend alongside Ian and Jen.

It's all going wrong isn't it?

Yep, it's all going wrong.

The best man in the middle.

That's the sort of look normally associated with the negotiation of free beer all night. Sadly I don't think this was the case.

Sam.

Good old Andy strikes again.

Gaz and Cara. Every time I tried to take a photo Cara blinked at the wrong moment. This was Gaz's solution.

John

John again. John actually isn't with the band, he just decided to get up and sing because he likes that sort of thing. Once he'd started there was no stopping him and he was still up there an hour later.

The happy couple.

Loz's 40th

2009-02-13T09:24:00.005Z

Better late than never, here's a few rubbish camera phone pictures taken at Loz's 40th birthday binge drinking session with the lads.

Matt (Joey) in the background - Now comes with grey hair for that distinguished gentleman look. The big box is Loz's birthday present from Neil.

And there's the present. It's a no expense spared fully sprung hobbit cycle!

Just like a little kid, Loz found the box far more exciting than the actual present.

"What's this do, what's that do, broom broom"

So, a good time was had by all and happy birthday to Loz.

Happy New Year

2009-01-18T11:30:00.004Z

I know it's a bit late but I'd like to wish everybody a happy new year and may I be the first to wish you a merry Christmas for this year. Since the last post of Loz's Iceland trip the blog's lay pathetically dormant. The main reason has been the weather. I think I've used my bike once since coming back from Scotland. There's other reasons too, like trying to get us all together for a ride out at the same time. We never seem to be all available at once. At some point last year I made a decision to keep the blog mainly for motorcycle related stuff. I'm now not so sure that was exactly the right decision. The blog after all was set up to document not only our biking activity but also all the other stuff that goes on in our lives. So I've now decided that things should go back to how they were. We need a little more fun around here.

Although the blog has been quiet, there hasn't been any shortage of stuff going on in our lives and there has been a few dramatic changes of events! Loz the stunted little hobbit has now turned forty and his Birthday led to the usual and inevitable drunkenness and silliness. I have some great photos which I'll be uploading in a day or two. Tackleberry's Valentino Rossi R1 race replica is no more. He declared the thing "Too fast" and in a moment of wisdom decided to part exchange it for a 700cc Raptor quad bike; The photos of which I'm still awaiting. Neil has sold a couple of his bikes and is now just down to the one, his XJR1300 affectionately known as Yellow Belly. Matt (Joey) has been pottering to and from America finishing off his commercial helicopter pilots licence. That last sentence wasn't exactly what you'd call a dramatic change of events but the next one is. Yesterday, Matt (Joey) finally tied the knot with lovely Ellie and they are now husband and wife. I know I'm speaking on behalf of all our friends when I say I sincerely hope the pair of them the very best wishes for the future. Now then..... With every wedding comes a party. And with every party comes alcohol. And just because us Janglers were obliged to wear suits doesn't mean to say we had to behave like gentlemen.

And it's also a mistake to give my camera to a rock star drummer (his words not mine) and say "Go get some good shots Andy".

Boy oh boy oh boy.......... Do I have some shocking photos. Watch this space.

Oh yes and one last thing. Matt (Joey) has stopped dying his hair and is greyer than Loz!

Iceland

2008-09-26T07:17:00.008+01:00

(Written by Loz)

Continuing on northward from Scotland which can be read about here.

After leaving Mike and Dean in the comfort of their tents in Thurso at around 3am I packed my gear up and headed to the port of Scrabster to board the ferry to Iceland. A number of bikes, cars and 4x4's were already starting to assemble at the docks. Clearly Iceland had enticed a number of adventure travellers. The ferry takes 36 hours and sails via the Faroe Islands which allows three hours ashore while it offloads and loads cargo.

Torshavn, Faroe Islands.

Traditional Faroese turf roofed houses.

Overlooking the harbour in Torshavn.

Back on the ferry with some supplies for the evening from the duty free shop it was time to settle in for the evening and the remainder of the mini cruise. Next stop Iceland. My first views of Iceland were just as foggy as my head courtesy of the duty free shop.

Seyoisfjorour (Pronounced something like fnertlefnacker), Iceland.

A somewhat clearer view of Seyoisfjorour.

Once off the ferry I headed out of the ferry town and up the mountains that can be seen in the rear of the above picture. Thick fog/low cloud slowed the ferry traffic to almost a standstill. My first gravel roads in thick fog, riding a bike laden like a mule made my first tentative miles quite interesting. The traffic disappeared as quickly as the cloud as I rode above it into stunning sunshine and views.

Finally above the clouds.

On top of the world.

My general plan was to do a loop of the island in an anticlockwise direction taking in as many of the natural wonders I could that make Iceland the wonder that it is. I had a small number of places I wanted to visit and after talking to a few people on the ferry that had been before, a few more places were added to the list.

Oooh a nice bit of tarmac!...

All the maintained roads are raised above the surrounding landscape to stop snow drifting during the winter.

Mountains as far as the eye could see with a ribbon of tarmac through the middle.

Making my way to Lake Myvatn (Pronounced something like mertalvansnerch) for a recommended campsite, I came across an area of steam vents. The smell of sulphur was overpowering. Not too dissimilar to Dean's farts!

Steam vent.

Campsite at Lake Myvatn. The facilities were superb and it was also one of the cheapest campsites I stopped at, costing around six quid.

My plan for the next day was to do a waterfall sightseeing tour taking in three waterfalls that were highly recommended, and also ones that I'd researched before leaving. As usual with all Jangle jangles things didn't quite go to plan. I missed the turn off for the last waterfall and ended up one hundred kilometres away and decided to camp for the night and head back for it the following day.

The road to the waterfalls Dettifoss and Selfoss (Most likely pronounced denheathenfloss and dentalfloss). I lost my camping chair on this track.

Dettifoss.

Selfoss.

The landscape everywhere was stunning but vast and was very difficult to photograph as there's nothing to give perspective of size.

Vast emptiness and not a sign of litter!

A trip to Iceland wouldn't be a trip to Iceland without visiting one of the many volcanic craters. Well, technically 'a trip to Iceland' would still be a trip to Iceland whether you visited a volcanic crater or not.... Similarly a trip to Iceland would still be a trip to Iceland whether you came back with a frozen chicken or not (Only British folk would get that joke... Not that it was funny in the first place). But obviously I'm going off the beaten track a bit here, so on with the show. (Last paragraph drivelled out by Mike whilst Loz went to the loo).

I returned back to Lake Myvatn to camp and planned the following day to travel the local area and also find the elusive waterfall that I'd previously missed.

Volcanic crater at Krafla (No doubt pronounced muffetler).

Godafoss, the elusive waterfall (flangefelcher?).

An example of the vastness and scale of things, if you look closely at the above picture you can just make out a small farmstead in the foreground of the picture by the side of the road.

In the next fjord, a reminder of the main source of income; a derelict trawler and processing plant.

Ever onwards and more sights to be seen and an area of geezers (and not the sort you find in the pub).

A geezer called Strokkur (Clearly pronounced pistonwipa).

Heading south past Reykjavik along Route 1 and the southern part of the island, I happened across some natural sights I hadn't banked on or researched, which made their appearance all the more special.

Skogafoss (Likely to have been pronounced norkfurnflunkle).

Not too far from the above waterfall was an area of glaciers where I camped for two days on my return to the ferry port.

A glacier along the south east cost.

A bizarre rock formation in a land of lava.

A poor attempt at an arty picture from behind the waterfall.

The glacier breaks into a lagoon.

A giant beer chiller!

The icebergs then wash out to sea and get pounded along the beach by the waves.

Although I'd planned to travel alone, every campsite that I stopped at had its fair share of fellow motorcyclists from all round Europe. I travelled for a couple of days with a guy called Stuart from Leicester. I also had a couple of very pleasant evenings with an Italian couple and a group of three French bikers. Although the language between us was very basic we still managed some jokes and piss taking. Just like being at home I caught the brunt of it.

A short days ride from here took me back to the ferry port for the mammoth trip home. The homeward journey takes you back to Scotland via the Faroes but leaves you there for three days whilst it goes to Denmark. Back at the ferry port I met up with a number of bikers that I'd met in Iceland including a couple from Kendal and again the three French folk.

The road down to Gjogv on the Faroes (No doubt pronounced gruntlehoofer).

A tiny harbour in Gjogv.

The Faroes was never a destination I had specifically chosen to visit so I didn't do any research prior to going and I had no plans for my three day stop over. A group of six of us spent the three days together travelling around the islands. We did accidentally stumbled upon a festival in the harbour of one village.

Faroese traditional dress.

At this festival there were a group of Faroese bikers holding a crate stacking contest. On spotting our traditional fighting gear they deemed us friends, not foe and invited us into their enclosure and plied us with free coffee and cakes and a generous offer of workshop space if we had any mechanical problems.

Oz (centre with orange hat) and Jess on the far right - The couple from Kendal. Second from right is Francoise who was part of the French group. Missing is Alain and Benoir. The rest of the group being the Faroese bikers who I'd like to say thank you to for their hospitality. I'd also like to thank Oz and Jess for their fantastic sense of humour that made the Faroe Islands bearable and the journey back through Scotland an absolute pleasure. As Mike would say; a thoroughly pleasant little Jangle.

Iceland Update

2008-09-24T04:31:00.005+01:00

Some of you may be wondering where the write-up is for Loz's trip to Iceland. Well, I can inform you that it only has a couple of paragraphs to go. For Loz the job of uploading pictures and writing some spam has proved to be more taxing than the actual journey. This is mainly due to his 'puter having less oomph than a ZX Spectrum...... and I won't mention the accidental deletion of the nearly finished post. I'll leave you with a little taster of things to come.

Out with the old, In with the new

2008-08-17T10:38:00.009+01:00

Apologies to Mark Galley but I've doctored the logo he designed for us. As good as it was, and I'm not taking anything away from Mark, it just didn't feel right for us; an alien if you like representing nothing about us. It needed a personal touch. Good old Photoshop to the rescue. I've included a couple of our own bikes (mine and Dean's). I apologise for not included the other Jangler's bikes. Gaz's bike I have no suitable picture of, Matt's bike is black and wouldn't work against the background and Loz and Neil's didn't look symmetrically right without a fairing. For those of you who can't speak Latin (Where would we be without online translation?) the writing translates to 'Ramble on and sing your song', a phrase close to Matt's and my own heart. Well if I'm honest 'Procedo protinus' actually means 'Continue forward', the best I could do with the absence of an exact translation for 'Ramble on'. 'Spouting sh*t since 2006' is about right really, so here's to hopefully many a more year of wonderful motorcycling and the ensuing ramblings.

The old logo. At least part of you lives on.

Scotland

2008-08-07T08:52:00.019+01:00

With Loz taking three weeks off work to ride around Iceland, Dean and I decided to take a week off work and head up to the top of Scotland with him where he departed on a ferry from Scrabster. Iceland doesn't score well on tarmac roads so Loz took his Yamaha XT which is more suited for off-road.

As Loz was on his XT which when loaded up like a mule was incapable of safely doing more than 60 mph, it was decided that Dean and I would travel up the motorway on our own at a more "sensible" speed. We left at 7am whilst Loz was intending to leave at around 9am. The plan was, once Dean and I got to Ayr we'd find a campsite for the night and text Loz as to where we were. The following morning we were then going to catch a ferry over to the Isle of Arran. Typically things didn't quite go to plan. All local campsites were fully booked because of a golf tournament. After 320 miles and a further two hours trying to find a campsite tempers weren't at there best so it was decided to jump on the ferry a day early and camp on Arran. Why we never thought of doing this in the first place I'll never know, but anyway......

Once at the ferry port I texted Loz to tell him what was going on, only to get a reply five minutes later telling me he was already on Arran, tent pitched and supping beer. Apparently he couldn't find a campsite either. The little t%&t couldn't sleep the night before and so travelled through the night. Dropping us a text to let us know so that we didn't waste two hours in stinking hot weather and sweaty leathers trying to find a site clearly wasn't of any importance. This obviously led to a swift phone call from myself informing him of what we thought he was....... words of which would be inappropriate to write down on this friendly bike blog! Once on the ferry with a drink and some food, tempers quickly subsided and we felt the holiday had begun. Although, we were still threatening to give the stunted little hobbit a good kicking when we caught up with him.

Dean on the ferry from Ardrossan to Brodick. The crossing takes about 50 minutes and costs around £25.00. It was a lot plusher than expected and had a good cafe and restaurant on board.

The splendid campsite on Arran situated in the town of Lamlash. I can't remember the name of the site and I can't find it anywhere on t'interweb either. Heading south through the town, immediately turn left just over the sharp right handed bridge (The turning is almost on the bridge). If you see the fire station you've gone a wee tad too far. Follow the road down and it's on your right. The lady on reception informed me that she did breakfast baps in the mornings although we never tried them, opting for our very own full English instead.

More of the campsite, a chilli con carne and miraculously a 'still alive' hobbit.

There's a five minute walk from the site down to a beach which takes you into town.

Lamlash village at the end of the beach where you'll find a couple of pub/hotels, a convenience store and a curry house! What more could you ask for?

A view from the beach.

The end of the path from the campsite.

On the lash in Lamlash. Our Glaswegian campsite neighbours. Thoroughly nice people and great entertainment. The resident midges of Arran seemed to be enjoying our company as well, much preferring our flesh to the delights of beer.

Sunday 27th we got away to an early start and took the coast road around Arran in a clockwise direction. The 40 mile or so stretch of road was not best suited to sports bikes being very tight, twisty, bumpy and potholed but the scenery was fantastic which more than made up for it. We departed the island from Lochranza over the Kilto Claonaig to the Kintyre peninsular south of Tarbert, which cost about £10.00 and took around 30 minutes.

Looking back towards Lochranza.

Dean & Loz

Once off the ferry and riding northbound we soon arrived at Tarbert. Tarbert is a pleasant enough town spoilt only by the the local petrol station owner. Not only did he rip us off for fuel by charging 124.9p per litre but had the cheek to write all our registration numbers down in case we decided to do a runner without paying. Taking our helmet and gloves off before refuelling we must really have looked like we were about to do a splash and dash on him. OK, admittedly I once did a runner from a curry house but it was 23 years ago and lets face it, who hasn't at some point in their life? Anyway, he must get a lot of trouble with drive offs which is no surprise really considering his prices..... Brought it all on himself.

Tarbert harbour front.

Tarbert harbour.

Travelling northward (on expensive fuel) we did a slight deviation to the picturesque village of Crinan overlooking Jura. The village is well known for the Crinan Canal and is well worth a visit if you're in the area. The road into Crinan from Lochgilphead follows the line of the canal and is a little gem. It's worth noting that the village is divided by a headland. Both sides are very picturesque and worth a nosey. Branching off to the right takes you down to the locks and a cafe where you can get tea, coffee and an assortment of light bites. Or the other option, if you're feeling well off or have just re-mortgaged is to feed your face in the Crinan Hotel.

The end of Crinan Canal where it enters Loch Crinan.

Canal Basin.

Leaving Crinan we headed up the A816 to Oban. This road was designed and built by the biking gods! It has to be one of, if not the greatest biking road in the UK. It can be very fast in some sections but also has a lot of snaking sections that almost double back on themselves in places. The views along the way are spectacular too if you get chance to have a glance around.

Oban.

Oban's a pleasantly busy coastal town and a nice place for a pit stop. There's always a few bikers on the front to have a natter to as well. Oh, and there's a fish and chip shop..... smelt good too. A guy stopped to talk to us as he was walking past with his wife and two young kids. He was telling us about fantastic biking roads in the area that the average tourist would probably miss. He got so excited at one point I thought he was going to start foaming at the mouth. So excited in fact that I think he forgot he was in charge of his kids when he piped up with; "You really must ride this road, it's fu&*$ng awesome man!" Mind you, I'm sure drinking and swearing is taught from a much younger age in Scotland. It's probably on the School curriculum.

Dean.

Suitably refreshed from our stop in Oban it was onward to Fort William at the base of Ben Nevis. The campsite (Glen Nevis) two minutes down the road from the town was nothing short of superb. Not only did it have a decent shop selling a good range of food and camping gear but it also had a burger van! The views of Ben Nevis from the site were amazing, and clearly the highland midges appreciated the area too judging by the state of my legs the following morning.

Fort William.

Glen Nevis Campsite at the foot of Ben Nevis. The tent you can see in the background just to the right of Loz's bike was a 3 man tent with two young Dutch couples in it. I'm really not sure what was going on, but all night there was lots of giggling and stuff. Maybe they were watching a funny dvd or something..... Inevitably they ended up Christened the Wife Swappers.

In case you're wondering, it was I Chinese chicken satay stir fry we were concocting. And damn nice it was too. The midges seemed to like that as well.

Obviously all the empty beer cans weren't ours. We merely took it upon ourselves to tidy the campsite up a bit.

Everywhere we went somebody would be there taking a look at Dean's R1. He even had some Dutch people taking photos of it. Me thinks it's nothing more than a substitute for something very small in the trouser department if you catch my drift?

The next morning following another full English breakfast we continued heading northwest in glorious sunshine. Just south of Fort Augustus we turned off onto the A87. This road took us past undoubtedly the most stunningly picturesque section of Scotland we travelled. I really wanted to pull over on several occasions to take some photos but we had a long journey ahead of us and time wasn't really on our side.

Overlooking Eilean Donan Castle.

We eventually turned off the A87 onto the almost equally nice A890 east and then west onto the A835 to Ullapool where we camped for the night. The days riding although hard work was probably the best of the holiday. I really can't put into words just how stunning the landscape was.

Ullapool.

Ullapool was a nice place and home to an award winning chippy and fish restaurant. Obviously we had to try out the fish and chips, and damn fine they were too.

The campsite 3 miles north of Ullapool on the A835 was cracking. It was surrounded on three sides by a loch and had its own beaches. Once we'd pitched our tents the realisation set in that we had no food for the evening or breakfast and none of us particularly wanted to ride back into town to the local Tesco. After the usual bickering Loz agreed to go so long as he could take my Blackbird. Result! Or it would have been if he'd actually remembered to bring back some stuff for breakfast. At least he didn't forget the beer so he was quickly forgiven.

Ardmair Point Caravanning and Camping Park just north of Ullapool on the A835.

The following morning, this time with no full breakfast inside us, we headed east on the A837/A838 onto the A9 and north to John O'Groats. The original intention was to keep west and cut across the very top of Scotland, but our arses were profusely protesting at the long hours in the saddle so we opted for the shorter distance saving some 70 miles or so. The route we took was very pleasant but whether single track roads with pull-ins class as A roads remains debatable.

A debatable Scottish A road.

A rickety bridge. It gave us a good 10 minutes of childish fun.

Somewhere north of Latheron on the A9 Loz's tedious pace finally caught up with me and I decided to get a spurt on and disappear into the distance with Dean closely following. We continued on our own until finally arriving at John O'Groats. Why the hell we bothered going there is beyond me. The place consisted of a house, a shop, a boarded up hotel and probably Scotland's smallest harbour but don't quote me on it. Loz eventually caught up about half an hour later and after the obligatory photos we got back on our bikes and headed off to Thurso where we were to camp the night.

Being cheapskates we weren't prepared to pay for our home town to be added to the signpost.

John O'Groats. Interesting it is not.

More uninterestingness.

The reason for camping at Thurso was because two minutes down the road is Scrabster where Loz was to set sail from at 6 O'clock the following morning. This is the only reason why anybody would choose to camp at Thurso. God only knows what the excuse for living there is.

Ok, so the view north was reasonable......

..... Not quite so when you turn your head the other way.

So that's why Loz stuck a rack on the front of his bike. One good thing to be said about Thurso is the local Lidl sells cheap Stella so it wasn't all bad.

The night in Thurso was an early affair. I'm sure it was about 8 ish when we hit the sack. Loz needed an early night before waking up to pack his stuff away at 3 O'clock in the morning to head down to the docks. And that's the last we saw of him as we wished him well on his onward journey to a chillier climate.

The following morning with Loz and his lumbering mule safely on a ferry, Dean and I made much swifter progress heading back south to Fort William for the night.

A coffee shop come craft shop on the A9 at Helmsdale. We also stopped here on the way up. I think the place was called 'Create'. It serves tea, coffee, cakes, toasties and not a lot else. But........ the toasties are tremendous...... and the female owner was very pleasant :)

Continuing on, I was looking forward to the road along side Loch Ness. I'd been there before and it's a great biking road, but this time it was as good as gridlocked with holiday traffic. Frustrating is putting it mildly.

Loch Ness.

Loch Ness again.

At the bottom of Loch Ness lies Fort Augustus. This is where the Caledonian canal (which stretches right across Scotland) connects to the southern end of Loch Ness. It's another nice spot for a rest with a good pub called the Lock Inn which sells nice food.

The end of the canal where it joins Loch Ness.

After Fort Augustus we headed back to the campsite at Fort William for the night. The evening was spent drinking beer, eating from the burger van (which was very good (for a burger van)) and dodging rain showers.

The Green Welly on the A82. Very popular rest stop for bikers.

From there we set off south down to Luss which is on the banks of Loch Lomand and now classed as a Conservation Village. We'd used this campsite before when we went to Scotland in 2005. The staff are very friendly and even supply you planks of wood for your side stand.

The Camping and Caravanning Club site at Luss. A view of our tents from the private beach.

Loch Lomand from the Campsite.

From our tents it was only a five minute walk down into town where you can have a nice pint and something to eat at the Colquhoun Arms hotel. This was a welcome break for us as it was the first pub we'd been in all holiday. Needless to say we ended up drinking too much. We chose not to eat there, instead opting for The Village Rest on somebodies recommendation. The food was good at a more than reasonable price.

The Village Rest.

After leaving Luss it was our intention to spend two days at Keswick in the Lake District. However, the rain was that bad we made a split second decision at a petrol station to ride all the way back home instead. And so I never did get my curry in Keswick that I'd waited all holiday for. I had one that night back at home though. And a soak in the bath. And a nice comfy bed.

Loz is due back from Iceland on the 26th August, hopefully with lots of photos and a great story to tell.

Mel Galley - RIP

2008-07-02T20:29:00.009+01:00

And whilst Planet Rock played "Crying in the Rain" we wiped our eyes and raised our glasses as the Buzzards flew high and the rain poured down.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Simple Man

The Peak District - For a Change

2008-06-25T06:46:00.011+01:00

When you're going for a bike ride to the Isle of Anglesey at 1.30pm in the afternoon it doesn't help when your fellow biking buddy doesn't turn up until 3.00pm. A brief calculation confirmed the fact that if we departed for Anglesey at 3.00 in the afternoon (more like 3.30 by the time we'd finished faffing around), not only would we be unlikely to find anything touristy open by the time we got there, we were also in danger of not making it back to The Local in time for last orders at the bar. The realisation of the latter saw us taking no chances as we headed for the High Peaks instead.

Peak District National Park is a paradise for walkers, cyclists, hang gliders, paragliders, rock climbers, cavers and motorcyclists to name but a few. Brochures, funnily enough, never seem to mention the latter in their advertising campaigns but don't let that deter you. The Peaks have some of the best biking roads in Britain, and with 555 square miles of space there's plenty of them to choose from.

Amongst bikers the most infamous road in the High Peak area, known as the Cat & Fiddle, links Buxton to Macclesfield. For me a far nicer and certainly safer road up in that neck of the woods is Snake Pass heading east from Glossop to Ladybower reservoir. Or the other way round obviously.

That's where we headed for yesterday, the Snake Pass, taking in all manner of great roads, nice villages, gorgeous scenery and dodgy sandwiches out of triangulated plastic packets.

Ashbourne - A rather attractive town at the southern end of the Peaks but suffering from a constant traffic jam. If you need to drive through the place allow several days extra for your journey. Alternatively find a secret way round like I have, but don't tell anybody...... Just like I haven't ;)

Upon reaching Ladybower reservoir I thought it was my duty to pull over and get some photos for the website. This however led Matt to inform me that my photography was interfering with the bike riding. But I soon noticed this didn't stop him sprawling himself all over his bike for a photo once he knew I'd got my camera out. That's if you can call a mobile phone a camera. Incidentally, neither did it stop him getting excited at the prospect of having an action shot taken of him riding his bike. Anyway where was I? Ladybower. Below which lies the villages of Ashopton and Derwent, now only visible during droughts or with scuba equipment. Ladybower was also used by the "Dambusters" squadron of the RAF for practise with their bouncing bombs famously used on the Ruhr dams.

Ladybower Reservoir, or at least part of it. It's a bit sort of T shaped with several dams strewn along the way.

Ladybower Reservoir again.

Somewhere along our travels the flowing bike ride was rudely interrupted not by photography this time but by a couple of thousand sheep wandering down the road. The highlight of this little halt in proceedings was watching a sheep trying to kick the sheepdog's ass.

Waiting for the sheep to kindly move out of the way.

As the crow flies, three miles south west of Ladybower lies the little town of Castleton, home to some fascinating caves including Blue John, Speedwell and Peak Caverns. Running between these caves lies Winnat's Pass, one of the most stunning stretches of road in the Peaks. The following two photos don't do the place justice, nor do they show just how steep the road is. It's only when you look at the third picture of my bike precariously parked up that you get some sort of idea.

Myself and Winnie on Winnat's Pass.

Matt - Not complaining about photographs now!

It's a good job there's plenty of compression.

That's just about all the time we had for sightseeing. The rest of our five hour journey was spent enjoying the ride. It would have been nice to cover more of the area but you can't do it all in one day. And anyway, it gives us another excuse to go back, this time visiting the Goyt Valley just off the superb A5004 between Whaley Bridge and Buxton.

Next week I'll make another attempt at getting to Anglesey.

We Haven't Fled the Country (Yet)

2008-06-10T09:01:00.013+01:00

In case anyone is wondering, we haven't all disappeared off the face of the planet, we've been just a little busy, that's all. I've been working pretty much seven days a week since Christmas refurbing the factory. Weekends have been the best time to be getting on with this job so any riding I've been doing has been when I take the occasional half day off work. Even then my rides have only been local travelling no further than the Peak District. Loz has been busy organising and preparing for a ride to Iceland in August (More of that later). Matt (Joey) is busy attaining his commercial helicopter pilots licence and has been snowed under with exams. Dean currently is landscaping his garden. Neil has had a career change and is concentrating on that, and finally there's Gaz who has been busy learning to skydive. At some point this year things will come together and no doubt we'll all end up catching up on lost time.

As I mentioned earlier, Loz is starting out for Iceland on the 2nd of August. On the 8th August he'll be catching a ferry from John O'groats. Dean and I will be taking a week off work to ride up to John O'groats with him whereby we'll leave him to head northward to a chillier climate. We meanwhile will head back down the country via Edinburgh taking in the Festival and the Royal Yacht Britannia. Rock on!

Other stuff in the news, our mate Tim who recently passed his test has bought himself a Honda CBR 600 (pictured below).

Tim and his CBR 600

Although we've all been busy, it hasn't stopped us getting up the pub for the usual rounds of silliness....... Oh no.

A somewhat spooky looking Matt (Joey)

I'll leave you with three short but funny videos of Pete Miller in his usual top form. I'll pre warn you that we're not all like this in Staffordshire!

This Month's Limited Edition T- Shirts

2008-06-02T10:10:00.002+01:00

Jangle on..... And sing your song. That's the theme for this months brilliant limited edition T-shirts. On sale until the end of June whereby another staggering design will hit Downtown Tinterweb.

Snapshot from Shropshire

2008-05-14T09:01:00.000+01:00

Leaving things until the last minute and being unable to muster up a gaggle of janglers on the spur of the moment, Billy no mates here took a ride out around Shropshire last Saturday on his own. With no particular destination in mind it was nice just to amble from place to place discovering previously unvisited towns and villages. Armed with a camera I stopped off at various picturesque places to reel off a few snaps. This is probably one of the better efforts of the day.

Photo taken just south of Burlton on the A528 between Ellesmere and Shrewsbury.... Cracking little road for biking.

Gravel Rash

2008-05-13T06:46:00.002+01:00

If you've ever wondered what grounds out first on a Honda Blackbird whilst cranking it over, I can reliably inform you that it's the fairing. Some people might argue it's actually the hero blob on the footpeg, but mine has snapped off so in this case it doesn't count.

I'm not sure if I should be proud of the gravel rash or not. Winnie now has battle scars, the sort of which doesn't look good when I come to sell her. I wouldn't mind but it's not exactly a fair representation of my riding because I really don't ride all that fast. However, I now join Gaz in the rather elite club of Fairing Scrapers*, no badge, no T-shirt, just a big grin.

*Achieved without the aid of crashing.

Our Very Own Merchandise!

2008-05-12T08:16:00.006+01:00

At long last we now have our very own range of merchandise! Why, I have no idea. I can't imagine anybody wanting to walk around with Jangle Jangle blazoned across their chest. But I suppose it's no more ridiculous than having the word Bench, table or even cauliflower for that matter.

Should you wish to take a look at our online shop you can find it here. You'll either be pleased to know or not give a toss that all items are at cost and we're not in it for the money. Good eh?

Wait, there's more! We also have another online shop selling our limited edition items. Great idea, I know! Limited edition stuff is on sale until the last day of every month whereby it gets replaced with another limited edition item or two...... So long as I get round to it, obviously.

This months limited edition product is our vandalised road sign "Bends for Smiles" T-shirt in both men's and ladies cut, and as you can appreciate, it's worn by cool folk.

You wanna be a cool folk?

Moto Guzzi Club Mid-Shires Campover 2008

2008-05-06T08:18:00.008+01:00

The small village of Ashover in Derbyshire was the destination for our Saturday night campover magnificently organised by Richard Bailey and Monica Vaughan of the Moto Guzzi Owners Club. The 50 miles or so it took to get there saw Loz, Zak, Matt, Dean and myself enjoying some wonderful roads. I must admit it was probably more enjoyable for everyone other than Loz because he had what's called terminal gearbox failure on his XT. Now this is the bike he's riding up to Iceland on in August. Of course absolutely nobody took the piss, and comments like "If I were you I'd swap it for a Honda C90 for your Icelandic adventure" were never mentioned, and the attempt to stuff his bike into a black bin liner was nothing more than an alcohol inspired figment of the imagination.

Not quite as "brrooom brrooom" as five minutes earlier.

With tents pitched in a farmers field and some beer drunk we wandered off down a convenient public footpath to The Old Poets' Corner. Obviously we weren't exactly there for the good of our health so, and quite rightly so, took it upon ourselves to drink some more beer. The actual main purpose of heading down the pub at four O'clock in the afternoon was to listen to a couple of guest speakers. Lois Pryce who rode a 20,000 mile journey from the top to the bottom of the Americas and more recently rode from north to south of Africa was the first speaker, with Austin Vince being the second. Austin has twice ridden round the world.

Loz's little'un Zak and Lois Pryce

The Old Poets' Corner.

Two hours later, chit chat and heckling over with, it was back to the tents for some culinary delights mustered up on the camping stoves.

Matt (Joey), Loz and Zak (The future of biking)

Now then, tough man Dean (He's only tough because he can eat Dynamite Hot Stag Chilli) has a Thomas The Tank Engine Plate!

Matt (Joey) is on a plate full of chicken curry.

I got a bit more adventurous with sirloin steak marinated in garlic and mustard with a red wine sauce accompanied by sautéed potatoes and mushrooms all wash down with beer and a little red wine. Keith Floyd would be impressed.

The usual round of sillyness.

By 9 O'clock we were back in the Old Poets' to witness some absolutely fantastic music by Crossroads Unplugged. The bass player and singer (below) also happens to be the pub Landlord. The set started off with Eric Clapton's awesome Cocaine and ended with the mighty Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd. Everything in between is a bit of a blur and it's only now I realise I should have taken more video footage for memory jogging purposes.

Bass player, singer and pub gaffer.

Now this guy here on the left of the above picture, who later remarked to me that his legs no longer worked due to excessive beer consumption (And I could clearly see he wasn't making this up) was part of the Moto Guzzi Owners Club. He managed to get himself on stage as it were to play the blues harp with the band. All credit to the guy, he was fantastic. Shortly after this obvious turning point in the evening, drunken crowd enthusiasm saw people elevating themselves to higher levels by dancing on tables and chairs. There was singing (to a fashion), air guitar, ball guitar (see video below), air drums, air harmonica, air tambourines and jiggly titties. Oh yes it was all going on.

Top left in picture; Richard, rally organiser. Bottom left and right of picture: Relatives?

By about 12.30 we were back at the tents, taking time out to record a crap and quite frankly pointless movie (see below) before heading off to mingle with fellow bikers.

* Warning: Not suitable for minors or those of a prudish disposition due to the use of naughty words such as f*&% and to&*%r *

After not going to bed until about half two, Sunday morning left us feeling somewhat woolly.

At least the weather remained dry for us. that was until we left the campsite to ride home where upon the heavens opened and stayed open for the entire journey home. We left Loz and Zak behind whilst they waited for our mate to turn up with a car and trailer to transport the trusty old XT back home.

The rally was a great little event. I think there was a maximum of 60 people due to the size of the function room for the guest speakers. All in all a thoroughly pleasant little jangle.

Hurrah For Mark

2008-04-25T06:30:00.004+01:00

Well there we have it, our new logo. I'd love to take credit for it but that has to go to matey Mark Galley who very kindly took some time out to design it.

Cheers pal.

RAF Cosford Museum

2008-04-23T08:34:00.000+01:00

Another fine day of weather has led to another half day off work and an enjoyable ride into the Shropshire countryside to take a peep at things that once flew.

The museum at RAF Cosford is home to around 70 aircraft. As well as war planes, there's also a great collection of missiles, some transportation and a who pile of research and development malarkey. All of which is totally free, and that includes the Cold War Museum (More of that later). There's also a shop on site and a cafe of which I haven't tested. Sat outside with a drink, I had the pleasure of a couple of jet planes thrusting up on the runway, the sound of which is far sexier than a motorcycle... unless of course the motorcycle is powered by a jet engine.

A Spitfire

A Tornado

Hawker Hind. Light bomber 1935-1943

Yokosuka Ohka single seat rocket powered suicide attack aircraft. This was primarily used against ships. The plane would be flown to the target area on the belly of a larger plane and then dropped. The pilot with the death wish would glide it in the general direction of the target, then when nearing, spark up the rocket engine and attempt to crash into the enemy.

British Aircraft Corporation TSR 2

As well as the original museum, 2007 saw the opening of the fantastic Cold War Museum.

This award winning shiny silver thing harbours the Cold War exhibition.

Handley Page Victor

What appeared to be a television company were on site doing a spot of filming (see above photo above left mirror). I would just like to apologise for firing Winnie up mid film and no doubt causing retake number 37.

Wall (Letocetum) Roman Town

2008-04-15T07:49:00.010+01:00

Yesterday, with the weather being dry, bright and positively spring like, I decided it was about time, and long overdue for my first proper jangle of the year. So, after 'chucking a lovely' from work I donned myself with a helmet, leathers, gloves and a full tank of fuel and cruised the grand total of five miles (Yes you did read that right) to Letocetum, known nowadays as Wall.

It's strange how I've lived around here most of my life yet never bothered to visit this sizeable chunk of Roman rubble until now. Or is it strange? Here's one for you... I love Burger King, yet when there was a BK restaurant five minutes from my house I never bothered eating there. Come to think about it, nor did anyone else, which is probably why it eventually closed down. Anyway, I digress. Wall was a small Roman town on Watling Street (A5), which was the principal road from London to Wroxeter, near present-day Shrewsbury. Archaeologists have managed to unearth, surprise surprise, a bathhouse and what was once a large, probably two storey building with a courtyard that was likely to have been some kind of hostel for travellers; this, according to the plaque was called a Mansio.

The grassy area was once the hot room in the bathhouse

More of the bathhouse complex

I can't remember what this bit was......

.....Nor this bit

The Mansio courtyard

The Mansio, or rather what's left of it

The site is managed by the National Trust and is totally free to enter. It also has a museum but it was closed when I was there.

In accordance with me getting my bike out the garage it eventually decided to rain when I was on my way home. Luckily for me though, I managed to find shelter in a drinking establishment until things brightened up a bit.

Dean's New Yamaha R1

2008-04-05T07:47:00.009+01:00

Dean has gone and bought himself another R1. Obviously not content with his 2007 black version, he's swapped it for something that resembles a pizza.

In all fairness though, it's a fantastic looking bike. The paint job has been done by Yamaha as a special. It's a replica of the one off paint job Valentino Rossi had at last years MotoGP in Assen. The Flying Pizza came from CMC in Cannock which I can thoroughly recommend as a dealership if you happen to be in the market for a new bike..... or a cholesterol laden takeaway.

False Statement of the Century

2008-04-04T10:09:00.002+01:00

Our mate Duncan is probably the biggest moaning old git you'll ever meet in your life. Everything and anything winds him up. Trust me on this (One of his favourite sayings), you wouldn't want him as your neighbour. The other day whilst going off on one he pipes up with the comment, "I never get stressed." After staring with our mouths wide open in disbelief for several minutes we convinced him to repeat his statement in front of the cameras.

Another Bike For Sale

2008-03-25T11:57:00.002Z

It's a 1996 Honda VFR 400 NC35. Mainly red in colour with a dash of white and blue and it's done 19,000 kilometres. It's in great condition and comes with a spare seat and a road legal aftermarket can. The guy, Dave who is selling it hasn't got time to ride any more as he's having to care for his poorly Mum on a full time basis. Dave's mature in age, used to own a bike dealership years ago and knows how to look after a bike. He'll accept £1700 but I doubt you'll get it for anything less. If you're interested drop me an email which you can find in my profile, or email janglejangle at hot mail dot co dot uk, or give me a call if you have my number. I'll then pass on his phone number to you. Oh, and I nearly forgot to say that the bike has been SORN for a couple of years so doesn't have a current MOT.

For Sale: Kawasaki VN 1500 Trike

2008-03-20T07:52:00.008Z

A friend of a friend is selling his Kawasaki VN 1500 Trike. It's a 1998 S reg with 14,600 miles on the clock. It has an MOT but no tax. It has a Reliant Robin rear end, a hypercharger, Vance and Hines exhausts and a new battery. It's in very good condition.

For further details you can contact John Hakecock (Hake) on 07853 320698.

Mel Galley's 60th Birthday

2008-03-10T09:03:00.002Z

Mel celebrated his 60th birthday on Saturday. It was lovely to see such a great turn out of people for such a special occasion.

Mel (on the left) along side Glenn Hughes.

Andy, Mel and myself.

Mel and Tim. Tim's taking his bike test next month and becoming the latest member of the Jangler club.

The lovely Suzi Perry.

Well, you know.

Suzi, Mel, Chris Evans and Glenn.

I'll tell you what we were talking about.... Scotch eggs, I kid you not.

Andy, family and Chris.

It's the usual sign that Andy's had more than half a shandy.

Eventually alcohol comes into play and things rapidly start going down hill, literally. And so a great day was had by all.

Finally, I'm organising a trip to Brno on the 15th August for the MotoGP. It's all going to be happening, chauffeur for the weekend, pit passes, fine dining and cheap beer. If any of you Janglers want to go, let me know by the end of the week, errr... the 15th would that be?

Caption Competition Results

2008-02-06T11:07:00.000Z

As ever, the response to the caption competition was, quite frankly overwhelming. Without further ado I shall announce the result. Under stiff competition Ellie's comment: Gaz says: Bwahahaha That will teach Cara not to let me have my bike in the house anymore! shined above all overs, not only because it was funny, but because she cleverly involved motorcycles in her comment. So well done Ellie. Ellie, you'll be pleased to know you'll be the topic of our next caption competition. You can guess the picture; You know, it's the one you sent me where you're on all fours with..........

Caption Competition

2008-01-30T14:29:00.000Z

I know I said I was busy and that my ink pot was temporarily dry but a light bulb has just come on in my head.

It's been a while since we last had a caption competition, so get your thinking caps on. Somebody has to outdo Ant on this one because he always wins. For those who don't know, this is Gaz, arriving at the pub on his motorbike with a chainsaw sticking out of his rucksack. I'll announce the winner, assuming anyone enters, this time next week, which will be Wednesday 8th February. For the record, very generously I shall be giving out absolutely no prize what so ever in any way shape or form, such is my kind hearted nature.

Oh No, It's a Meme

2008-01-28T06:53:00.000Z

I (we) have been tagged by Ellie to do a meme, of which I'm not in the least bit grateful and can't wait to seek some sort of evil revenge. A meme is a way of being nosy and generally getting a good old sniff into other peoples lives. It's a more intimate form of people watching if you like, and we all love a spot of people watching. The rules of this particular meme are as follows:

Post five links to five of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the five key words given here (family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like).

Then it goes on to explain that I have to continue this meme business by tagging five other friends. Now this is likely to be a big problem!

Right then, let's get down to business. Oh yes and before I forget, Ellie thinks none of the other janglers should get away with this, so I'll copy and paste what she has written on her blog:

I am going to tag Mike at Jangle because of his cheeky comment on my last post, in fact I am also going to tag the remaining Jangle guys to take at least one category each and create a post around it. That will teach you lazy lot to leave all the work to Mike Bwhahahahahaha!

Back to business.....

Family: A Cheesy Tale - It doesn't matter how old you are, parents never stop worrying.

Friend: A Fine Dining Experience - You can always rely on your mates.

Yourself: What Should Have Been An Easy Job - They never are, are they?

Your Love: Bed Spring League - This has nothing to do with my love as I can't find anything relating to my love life on the blog, so Ellie and Ray, where ever he went (think he got scared away) have the limelight here. You'll also need to read the guestbook to see what went on. Oh and in those days Ellie was going under the name of Biker Loving Sex Bomb or BLSB for short.

Anything I like: The Tosser's Guide To Hand Gestures - We've all been there...... Haven't we?

So that's my five. It's been quite interesting wading back through all the archives to pick things out. Also it's been a pleasant meme to have a go at. On that note, and I can think of no better note, I bid you all a farewell, at least for the short term. I'm busy, too busy, and with a lack of anything motorcycle happening, my ink pot has run dry. Roll on the spring.

The Janglers Go Head To Head

2008-01-18T10:18:00.000Z

With constant bickering between us all over our riding I've decided it's about time we went head to head in a virtual race. Silverstone is the venue, and it's an all out one lap sprint. It's a battle of skill and wits. May the best man win.

For this much awaited epic, even Murray Walker couldn't keep away and he's brought himself out of retirement to kindly comment on events throughout the race.

Lined up on the starting grid from left to right we have Dean on his Yamaha R1. Undeniably one of the quickest bikes on the road, but with lack of experience compared to his rivals, it could lead to his downfall. Brolly dollying for Dean is Arnold Schwarzenegger and they're busy comparing notes on Oozy 9 millimetres and how best to take out the competition.

Next there's Mike on his now slightly long in the tooth Honda Blackbird. Experience and maturity might play to his advantage in the race but nerves might get the better of him. Brolly dollying for Mike is Miss U wearing a splendid pair of decorators overalls.

Next up it's Loz. His Yamaha XJR1300 is by no means cutting edge so he's going to have to dig deep into his vast years of experience to out smart the opposition. Ali has kindly volunteered to hold Loz's umbrella. So as not to be identified, she's wearing a paper bag on her head. All very well and good but she's having problems actually working out where the umbrella should be.

Along side Loz there's Neil on his ageing Yamaha XJR1300. Neil has vast experience in competition enduro and could be a bit of a dark horse on the road. Brolly dollying for Neil is Ellie. Sponsored by Camel she's wearing some yellow hotpants and displaying a somewhat noticeable camel toe.

Next we have Matt (Joey) on his Yamaha TDM 850. He isn't what you'd call a bookies favourite but with his sensible mature attitude he might just outsmart the competition to take victory. Brolly dollying for Matt (Joey) is Kate Isis. Kate is in fancy dress wearing her very seasonal madame whiplash uniform and is busy whipping Matt's (Joey's) bottom at every opportunity. Just like in horse racing this could really get the lad fired up.

On the far right Gaz completes the line-up on his Suzuki GSXR1100. Easily the bookies favourite with track day experience to his advantage. Gas hasn't got time for brolly dollies, he's too busy queueing up at the beer tent for a pre race aperitif.

Okay, enough of the build-up, on with the show.

They're under starters orders, heads are down, engines revving and it's GO GO GO (Murray Walker's word not mine).

Hurtling off the starting line, rifle in hand, Dean gets off to a flyer chasing a mechanical hare down the side of the track. Gaz and Mike are neck and neck close behind, followed by Neil and Loz with Matt plodding away back in last position. Hurtling down towards Copse Corner, positions remain uncha....... What's this? Loz is slowing down and pulling over. I don't believe it! He's getting off his bike! He's, he's, he's stopping for a fag break! Oh boy, this could cost the stunted hobbit dearly!

Murray Walker: "I'm in my usual state here up in the commentary box: High tension, heart beating like a trip hammer, whatever that is."

Gaz is hard on the brakes and easily overtakes Dean on the outside of the bend.

I've just had word from the pits and there's disaster for Neil. He's just realised his bike is quarter of a mile over its 20,000 mile service and he's pulling over to get his tool kit out. Mike overtakes Dean on the outside of Becketts and is desperately trying to keep up with Gaz who's going at it like shit off a shovel. Matt's consistency seems to be paying off as he trundles past Neil in a pipe and slipper Honda Goldwing type of fashion. Methodically, Neil is erecting a portable service tent and is busily anchoring it down with three feet long stakes even though it's only blowing a one mile per hour wind.

Murray Walker: "That's history. I say history because it's happened before."

Safely through Becketts, Gaz, Mike and Dean head down towards the right hander at Stowe. Dean manages to comfortably get past both Gaz and Mike on the straight only to be overtaken by the pair of them again at Stowe corner. Loz has decided there's no rush and is retrieving his camping stove from his top box to brew up. No doubt there'll be a dash of his secret supply of finest Oban Whiskey added to his cuppa when he thinks nobody is looking.

Murray Walker: "I can't believe what's happening visually, in front of my eyes."

Approaching Club Corner Gaz rises to the cheering crowd and pulls over to entertain them with a few stunts. Mike, realising the fantastic photo opportunity, pulls up along side, opens his top box and retrieves a digital SLR with a sigma 70 - 200 mm zoom lens. Unfolding his tripod he attaches his camera to it and strategically positions the camera. Setting the camera to ISO 200, F4.5 at 110 mm with a shutter speed of 1/1000 of a second with a 1 stop exposure compensation he manages to capture a burnout of epic proportions. With a short DOP he's trying to bring out and highlight the skid marks not only on the track but in Gaz's pants too.

Murray Walker: "Are they on a one stopper? Are they on a two? And when I say they, who do I mean? Well I don't know. It could be anyone."

At Priory, Dean is clearly looking hot favourite.

Murray Walker: If Dean wins, this will be his first win since the last time he won."

Matt is some considerable distance behind. But wait, what's this? Dean's spotted a herd of deer in the infield. He's pulled over and is now changing into full combat gear. Unzipping his gun bag he crawls along until he's close enough to get a good clean shot. Loading the Oozy he lets rip. All hell breaks loose as blood, guts and antlers fly off in all directions.

Loz has now dismantled his stove, packed away his secret stash of finest Oban whiskey, washed up and is now back on the track. Neil's been having trouble removing the giant stakes from the ground which are anchoring his tent and has wasted considerable time constructing a geometrically perfect, precision engineered triangulated leverage device that the Romans would be proud of. Eventually sorting out the issue, Neil rejoins the race just as Loz is flying past.

Murray Walker: "Loz's bike is unique, except for the one behind it which is identical."

Gaz is still entertaining the crowd with one handed wheelies and rolling stoppies. Mike is swapping over to his 500mm F2.8 telephoto lens and with an ISO 400, and an SS of 2000 he's hoping to get some close-up shots. Dean has spotted a seagull and is unpacking a land to air missile launcher to take the enemy out. Gaz has fried his tires and is now opening a quick tinny whilst Mike packs up his camera, eleven lenses and tripod.

With the tinny drunk, Gaz is back in the race with Mike in hot pursuit. The pair of them with extra BHP gain on Loz and Neil rapidly as the race starts to draw to a close. Dean, now covered in blood and intestines from head to toe (Murray Walker: "He can't decide whether to leave his visor half open or half closed.") is back on his bike and roaring off just managing to engage in the battle between Gaz, Mike, Loz and Dean. Matt's having a pleasant trundle in a race of his own somewhere at the back of the pack.

Murray Walker: "A battle is developing between them. I say developing because it's not yet on."

As the final bend approaches it's neck and neck between the five leading bikes. There's not a hairs width between them as they break sharply for the corner.

Murray Walker: "There are five different bikes filling the first five places."

Oh my god, there's been an almighty pile-up. Gaz, Neil, Loz, Dean and Mike are all in the gravel.

Murray Walker: "Anything can happen in racing and it usually does."

Luckily they're all up and look to be ok. Oh no, we don't want this. The gloves are coming off and none of them look happy.

Murray Walker: "If the gloves weren't off before, and they were, they sure are now!"

There's hell on between the riders. Loz is blaming Gaz, or to be more exact, his tyres for causing the crash due to his immature stunt riding tyre frying exploits. Gaz is blaming Neil for not screwing his bike back together properly after its service. Neil is blaming Dean for not cleaning all the blood and guts off his visor following his direct attack against animal rights activists. Dean is blaming Mike for trying to get an action photo whilst competing in a race. And finally Mike is blaming Loz for trying to light a cigarette on the last bend.

So there we have it.The long awaited grudge race has failed to settle an age old dispute. It looks like the tradition of bickering and insulting each other is here to stay for the foreseeable future.

Hang on, what's this? It's Matt, trundling past the war strewn debris field giving everybody the Queens wave whilst gently nodding his head in a Queenly sort of way to take the chequered flag. Well who'd have believed it.

I think we'll leave Murray Walker to give us some final words.

Murray Walker: "A sad ending, albeit a happy one."

L Stands For?

2008-01-14T10:48:00.001Z

On the way to work this morning it was cold and wet. Imagine my surprise when I spot some guy on a motorbike wearing a pair of shorts! If that isn't bad enough, the fearless chap has donned himself with a splendid pair of white socks.... although I doubt very much they were still white by the time he reached his destination.

L stands for? I dunno, lunatic perhaps.

Men in Dresses... WTF?

2008-01-11T07:06:00.001Z

I disappear on holiday for a while and look what happens. Jangle has turned into some sort of ........ well to be honest I wouldn't like to say. Anyway, it's a good job there's someone around here with something remotely manly to stick on the blog.

Happy new year all.

A bit of window shopping at Harley's Downtown Disney store in Orlando.

Motorcycle Events Calendar 2008

2008-01-01T11:28:00.000Z

I'll add to the calendar as and when any more dates become available. If there's anything else you want adding to the list such as bike meets, races, shows, or anything else you think might be of interest to other people, just drop my a quick email.

janglejangle at hotmail dot co dot uk

MotoGP, World Superbike, British Superbike, Irish Road Racing, Events, shows etc.

February
23rd - World Superbike, Losail, Qatar.

March
2nd - World Superbike, Phillip Island, Australia.
09th - MotoGP, Losail, Quatar.
29th - 30th, BikeSafe Motorcycle Show, Colindale, London.
30th - MotoGP, Jerez, Spain.

April
6th - World Superbike, Valencia, Spain.
6th - British Superbike, Brands Hatch.
13th - MotoGP, Estoril, Portugal.
20th - British Superbike, Thruxton.
25th - 26th - Road Racing, Cookstown 100, Northern Ireland.
26th - 27th - Classic Bike Show, Stafford County Showground, Great Britain.
27th - World Superbike, Assen, Netherlands.

May
2nd - 3rd - Road Racing, Tandragee, 100.
4th - MotoGP, Shanghai Circuit, China.
5th - British Superbike, Oulton Park.
11th - World Superbike, Monza, Italy.
17th - Road Racing, North West 200, Northern Ireland.
17th -18th, BMF Show, Peterborough.
18th - MotoGP, Le Mans, France.
26th - British Superbike, Donington Park.
31st - 6th June - Road Racing, TT, Isle Of Man.

June
1st - MotoGP, Mugello, Italy.
1st - World Superbike, Salt Lake City, United States.
8th - MotoGP, Catalunya, Spain.
15th - World Superbike, Nurburgring, Germany.
15th - British Superbike, Snetterton.
22nd - MotoGP, Donington Park, England.
28th - MotoGP, Assen, Netherlands.
29th - World Superbike, Misano, Italy.
29th - British Superbike, Mallory Park.

July
13th - MotoGP, Sachsenring, Germany.
20th - MotoGP, Laguna Seca, United States.
20th - World Superbike, Brno, Czech Republic.
20th - British Superbike, Oulton Park.
24th - 27th - Roll & Blues Custom Show, Walton on Trent, South Derbyshire.

August
3rd - World Superbike, Brands Hatch, Great Britain.
7th - 10th - Bulldog Bash, Warwickshire, England.
10th - British Superbike, Knockhill.
13th - 18th - Road Racing, Ulster GP, Northern Ireland.
17th - MotoGP, Brno, Czech Republic.
24th - World Superbike, TBA.
25th - British Superbike, Cadwell Park.
31st - MotoGP, Misano, San marino.

September
7th - World Superbike, Donington Park, Great Britain.
14th - MotoGP, Indianapolis, United States.
14th - British Superbike, Croft.
28th - MotoGP, Motegi, Japan.
28th - World Superbike, Vallelunga, Italy.
28th - British Superbike, Silverstone.

October
5th - MotoGP, Phillip Island, Australia.
5th - World Superbike, Magny Cours, France.
12th - British Superbike, Brands Hatch Indy.
19th - MotoGP, Sepang, Malaysia.
26th - MotoGP, Valencia, Spain.
26th - World Superbike, Portimao, Portugal.

Jangle Belles

2007-12-27T10:21:00.000Z

As we seem to spend most of the year ripping into each other for one reason or another, mostly for riding like girls........ maybe we are.

Joey kindly sent over a picture of his new summer motorcycle gear and not to be out done i thought i'd show you whats going to be hitting all the top motorcycle boutiques this spring !

Looking Smooooth

Just look at this little number

Mick on a stick

2007-12-24T23:36:00.000Z

Christmas wouldn't be the same without a christmas drink. So Neil, Joey and my self headed to our regular watering hole

Although there were fewer than normal janglers, the evening soon got under way and the insults and piss taking was as good as ever.

Half way through the night Mike made an unexpected appearance, which was to be the amusment for the rest of the night.

CHEERS MIKE !!

Christmas Spam

2007-12-14T11:20:00.000Z

After a little chat with Neil last night, it was decided that if Mike was to be having a BLOG break and had promted myself and Neil to post something. We opted for the spamming up option.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christmas Shutdown

2007-12-11T07:57:00.000Z

Jangle Jangle is on a blog break until the new year (Unless Loz or Neil add anything). I hope everyone has a great Christmas and a happy and prosperous new year. Let's hope the weather's a bit kinder to bikers next summer.

Gaz at Mallory Park

2007-12-02T09:27:00.001Z

Dean has very kindly emailed over some pictures taken recently at Mallory Park where Gaz did a track day. A picture of his fried tyres can be seen here.

Captain Wheelie

2007-11-27T10:01:00.000Z

Ant has emailed over a picture of Loz. Note the cool mannerisms, the ciggie in the mouth and the "Not bothered about falling off and hurting myself" look. Apparently I'm not allowed to make any jokes about him looking like Eddie Kidd's Granddad, so I guess I'm not allowed to mention he's looking more like the Doc out of Back To The Future by the day, or that he has one man boob bigger than the other!

Lewes Bonfire

2007-11-10T09:55:00.000Z

All across the country November 5th is celebrated with bonfires and fireworks, but nobody parties quite like the folks of Lewes in East Sussex. So with friends Alan and Niki Living on Lewes high street it was time for Loz, Neil and myself to take a jangle and party on down along with the other seventy thousand revellers.

Now I'm going to be honest with you here, we cheated a little and drove down in the car. Call us lightweights you may but think on this; stock piling your motorcycle with beer, sausages and bacon, the tonnage of which probably equalling that of a steam engine is simply never going to happen when equipt with only a top box....... No the car was the way forward, especially as Neil and I could drink some beer whilst Loz was doing the gentlemanly duty of driving. Sat in the back of the car next to the beer supplies, offering Neil another beer led Loz to respond with something I shall not repeat but it ended in "off".

It's fair to say there's absolutely no chance of finding somewhere to stop in Lewes on bonfire night so Loz did some research and found an absolutely tremendous campsite about 7 miles out of town. Blackberry Wood is set in woodland and has private clearings for pitching your tents. Every clearing has a fire pit and the campsite has basic but very clean toilets and showers. We opted to use the outdoor showers which were basically garden sheds without a roof. Taking an outdoor shower this time of year is a bit on the chilly side but definitely invigorating.

We arrived around 5 o'clock on Sunday evening and after showing us to the campsite Alan very kindly got a campfire on the go whilst we pitched our tents. A few beers later we headed into town (for some more beer... obviously) where fire crackers and enormously loud bangers (known as rookies) were being lobbed like confetti all night long. Escaping the noise for a couple of hours we decided to pay the Shanaz Indian Restaurant a visit which dished up the best chicken madras with egg fried rice I'd eaten in a long time.

The whole town is littered with debris from the fire crackers.

After heading back to the tent around midnight it was time to light another fire, drink some more alcohol and discover that a mouse had eaten a huge hole in Neil's tent to get at our loaf of bread. Neil, slightly miffed with the little blighter immediately changed into combat survival mode, dousing the surrounding area of his tent with meths to confuse the scent of the mouse and arming himself with an aerosol of deodorant ready to open fire at a seconds notice. Of course Loz and I were deeply concerned over Neil's welfare and didn't find any of it in the least bit funny.

One large mouse hole.

The following morning it was time to light another fire and start cooking a serious full English breakfast. Loz decided a drop of rum in his cup of tea was the "breakfast of champions". It would be nice to say that all three of us did our share of the cooking but this wasn't the case. Neil managed, and with some success I'd like to add, to all of a sudden receive several long winded phone calls from work. It was a smart move but we had him rumbled..... No pulling the wool over our eyes! Which reminds me, waking up in the pitch black I heard Neil rummaging around outside his tent. There were pots and pans clinking, zips zipping and kettles brewing. The man's never right I thought. What the hell's he doing brewing up in the dead of the night outside in the middle of dense woodland. I contemplated that maybe he was on mouse patrol. I rolled over onto my right hand side to go back to sleep only to realise that it wasn't dark after all. It was broad daylight, and if the hood of my sleeping bag hadn't been covering my eyes I might have realised sooner.

Good old Tesco to the rescue.

Oh yes, it's all going on. There's no denying it.... You're impressed aren't you?

There are seven bonfire societies in total, Cliffe being the largest with over a thousand members, of which Alan and Niki make up two of the numbers. Lewes Bonfire Council acts as a forum for all seven societies.

On the 5th November every year the seven societies, Cliffe, Commercial Square, Lewes Borough, Neville Juvenile, Southover, South Street and Waterloo all parade in costumes through the streets with flaming torches and giant effigies which subsequently get blown up at some point in the evening. The Cliffe Society, amongst other things like to blow up the Pope every year for ordering the death of 17 protestant martyrs way back in fifteen hundred and something. If the 5th November happens to fall on a Sunday the bonfire gets moved to another day because apparently they're not allowed to blow up the Pope on Sundays.

It's at this point that I should be giving you some sort of history lesson on this crazy annual gathering of pyrotechnic lunatics but it's probably best to take a read of the Cliffe Bonfire Society website to get the gist of what it's all about.

On Monday afternoon we met up with Alan and Niki, had some beers and went for a walk around town before all the roads got closed off. It was interesting to learn that Lewes council have introduced parking meters all over the place. You'd have thought they'd have known better than to stick them in a town full of gunpowder wielding pyromaniacs. Up to now it's cost the council £300,000 in new meters to replace all the ones that have been blown up. It's no surprise there's no speed cameras in the area!

Alan doing a mighty fine impersonation of a pirate.

The Cliffe Bonfire Society can be recognised by their black and white colours and the burning crosses.

This can't be a costume.... he really must be a pirate, no?

Another glimpse of Alan to the left of the photo. Slightly blurred I know but hey, if you were holding the camera and had to choose.........

We think this might be Niki's cousin.... To be confirmed.

The handsome chap with the gold hat is Niki's step dad.

A good indication on how rammed the town becomes.

The parades through the streets last from five o'clock to around half past nine. After that, each individual society heads off to their own fire sites where they light bonfires, let off colossal fireworks and generally blow stuff up!

Cliffe's Bonfire down at their fire site.

On the left hand side of the above photo you can just make out a sort of podium. This is where some raving suicidal nutcase dresses up as the Pope and does a speech whilst the crowd throw fireworks at him. I kid you not!

Guy Fawkes gets blown up good and proper. His head explodes first then the rest of him goes off like a bottle of pop.

Some of Cliffe's incredible fireworks.

An awesome display from the Waterloo Society can be found here. It's really worth watching it all the way through.

Once all the fireworks were let off and Guy Fawkes, the Pope and a giant seagull got blown to smithereens everyone headed back into the town centre to let off more explosions.

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, I'm guessing at about one o'clock they light a fire in the middle of the street. Once the bonfire prayer has been chanted everybody resorts to jumping through the fire whilst other people chuck bangers into it. Every time a banger goes off the fire erupts skyward and rains sparks and ash down on your head. All very normal behaviour for a Monday night in a town centre. To give you more of an idea there's a good video here from last year.

Shiver me timbers.

On Tuesday morning after cooking another proper chaps breakfast it was time to pack our tents into the car, head into town and say our goodbyes. We'll definitely be back next year, no question about it.

From all of us I'd like to thank both Alan and Niki for their lovely hospitality. Thank you so much for everything, not least the spread of top nosh on Monday evening. Oh yes and the Bonfire Boy beer, I've drunk it and it was very nice. Cheers.

*A quick note on the photos. All the above photographs apart from one (that'll be the photo of me) were taken by me. Recently I discovered one of my photos being used on another website. Whilst I don't mind people using my pictures it would be nice to ask me first. That way I don't get grumpy and send snotty emails asking for my picture to be removed. If you want to use a photo for something all you have to do is ask. :)

A Couple of Photos

2007-10-19T07:02:00.001+01:00

Here's a couple of photos (well three to be exact) that I've been meaning to add to the blog for some time. Firstly there's one of Loz looking like a bit of a rock star, be it an ageing one but a rock star none the less. I asked Mel to take a look at the photo (because he knows a thing or two about this sort of thing) and tell me if he thought Loz did in fact look like a rock star. He took a look at the picture, paused for a few moments then said; "Yes, Status Quo". I'm not sure that's a good or a bad thing.

The next picture is of Gaz's garage.... a bit rock and roll in its own right. It's a man's garage, a garage full of boys toys, a garage equipt to put a spaceship on the moon. Or on the day I took the photo, a garage equipt to make emergency repairs to my boat trailer.

And last but by no means least I give you a preview of Bob's Turner Prize entry. Fuelled by alcohol, I lot of thought and reasoning went into this latest creation. It's titled "Tobacco Tree" and if you look closely the reason becomes obvious. The piece of art is a thought provoking masterpiece touching on several key political issues, not least the escalating growth rate of taxes on tobacco and the controversial decision to ban smoking from public places. Bob prides himself on using biodegradable items for his artwork. This years winner of the Turner Prize will be revealed on the 3rd December and I'd like to wish Bob the very best of luck in the competition.

Ace Cafe London

2007-10-16T07:27:00.001+01:00

(Written by Loz)

Saturday evening whilst watching the England v France rugby world cup semi final I had one of those mad hair brained ideas that I should go and visit one of motorcyclings iconic landmarks, the Ace Cafe.

The cafe was popular in the 50's and 60's with bikers and today the theme of the cafe still keeps its roots. The cafe is situated on the old north circular route in London......... Oh dear, this will be interesting! As it turned out it was really easy to find but the journey down was just mind numbingly boring (M1) all the way to the end.

The Ace Cafe has its own website and on there you will find directions and a very full calender of events. Sunday is a general bike meet day, but this week there was the addition of a Vincent and Vellocette meeting.

Check out the reg number on the front mud guard....... I want it!

A cracking Norvin (Norton frame/Vincent engine)

A lovely Vincent

Wroxeter Roman City

2007-10-11T07:12:00.000+01:00

I woke up last Friday morning to glorious blue skies and decided a bike ride was the order of the day. All I had to do was rush into work, resolve a few issues and then I was free for the day. On the way into work I called Matt up to see if he fancied tagging along for the jangle. The phone rang and rang and rang and rang. I was just about to give up when what sounded like a frog answered the phone. The conversation sort of went a bit like this:

Me: Weyheyyy, morning mate.

Matt the croaky frog: Ohhhhh I feel sooooo bad. What time is it?

Me: It's 9.15 you bone idle lazy..........

Matt the croaky frog: Ohhhhh I was sooooo drunk last night (then a brief croak about wine, beer, spirits and vintage port).

Me: Yes well very good. Now sort yourself out, we're going for a jangle (or words to that effect).

Eventually it was decided we should go and see a pile of old rubble in the form of what was once the fourth largest town in Roman Britain.

Apparently (although our mate Archaeology Pete would disagree) Wroxeter was nicked off the Cornovii by the Romans and subsequently renamed Viroconium Cornoviorum. It started out as a legionary fortress and later developed into a thriving city. Today most of the city is buried deep within the soil but the Baths have been extensively excavated to reveal some fascinating ruins. It's also worth noting that there's an award winning vineyard at Wroxeter where you can take a tour and/or buy red and white wines...... Of all the rotten luck!!!

Matt at the visitors centre.

What was once the Basilica. Bathers could exercise here before entering the baths' suite. If you look closely towards both edges of the picture you can see the circular footings where great pillars once stood within the Basilica. At the top of the picture and in the photo below you can see the only remaining piece of the Basilica wall. The entrance in the middle led into the baths.

The main heated bath rooms showing the remains of the tile pillars forming part of the hypocaust.

Below are a few photos of some of the objects in the museum that have been found at Wroxeter.

Wroxeter is located 5 miles south east of Shrewsbury on the excellent biking road the B4380, which as well as having one lovely bend after another also has some gorgeous views of the rolling countryside.

At the end of our jangle and following tradition we frequented the local pub for a pint where we bumped into Gaz, who unbeknown to us had spent his Friday at Mallory park doing a track day. So there we were, Matt and I all relaxed and chilled from our cultural jangle and Gaz on a high no amount of drugs could get you too.

The left hand side of Gareth's rear tyre.

Dean's spanking new Yamaha R1.

Neil just about to take Matt's TDM out for a test flight.

Cader Idris

2007-10-08T07:55:00.000+01:00

(Written by Neil and Loz)

After a week of “I’m so excited” texts to each other, a pair of childish schoolboys met up for a pre-jangle beer on Thursday night.

The following morning and meeting at Neil’s garage, 10am was not such a good idea given cloudy heads and even cloudier skies. The latter of which may well explain a sudden lack of MOT on Winnie.

The reason for meeting at Neil’s was to try fix No. 328 on Gaz’s SRAD before we set off……….(how about the full story Gaz ?) Needless to say fix 328 was about as successful as the other 327.

Having been convinced by Loz to load a keg / BBQ of beer on the back of the Yella, “those that can“ set off into the drizzle heading for clear blue skies, via the Ponderosa Café where Loz met with some old friends!!

He’s not happy!!!!

With the tummy rumbles removed we rolled on through Bala, Dolgellau, Twyn and onto base camp at Cader Idris (Loz was pleased to note that supplementary oxygen was not yet necessary, so dutifully “rolled one off”).

Base camp struck, its time to open the beer and a merry evening pursues before the munchies take hold again, With Rum in one hand and a virgin cooker to tame , Neil sets about concocting his first Trangia’s gourmet delight (in the traditional fashion…..cooking with Meths) Not like me who insists that gas is the way forward. As I so aptly put it “now we're cooking on gas !!”

Regular readers will be familiar with our previous culinary capers but check out this little beauty.....

Caribbean Chicken with Mediterranean vegetables.

Waking early next morning we prepare to tackle the untamed easterly ascent of Cader Idris. We're obviously in for the long haul so Loz selects his high capacity colostomy sack.

The walk up Cader Idris starts through a woodland area before climbing on large steps to a lake then up the “back wall” to the summit.

Having crested and rested Loz decided it was too far to walk back so opted for tomb stoning (Rather aptly named I thought).

I told him he wouldn’t make the lake

Time to take five whilst Loz extracts his head from the mountain.

Once back at base camp the keg is swiftly recovered from the chiller (stream behind tents) and equally as quickly is emptied, with night and cold drawing in and plenty more “instant idiot tins” to attack, our resident pyromaniac sets about creating the evenings heating before inviting the neighbours round for an evening of fine dining and sophisticated conversation.

Suitably stupor’d in the early hours, all tins, bottles and meths consumed, logs burnt out and conversation exhausted we head to bed. A later start on Sunday before heading home via the local to round off an altogether excellent jangle for “Those that can …..!!”.

The Kindness of Strangers

2007-10-01T06:40:00.000+01:00

(Written by Neil)

Over the last year Gaz’s Suzuki SRAD 600 has been struggling with the “mother of all bike faults”. In turn it has baffled, bemused and eluded all of us. So during the last few weeks assistance has been obtained in the guise of a local bike breakers Project Bikes Ltd.

Pete of Project bikes did not know me from Adam, when I walked in a month ago and put a ridiculous proposal to him, but now that the fault is cured and all is well I would like to recommend that you all go and spend large quantities of hard earned brass with this “top geezer".

Thanks to all the staff.

Sexy New Rubber

2007-09-26T10:20:00.000+01:00

Today Winnie is booked in for an MOT at David Ross's place so yesterday I took her over to the Two Wheel Tyre Centre on Queslett Road for some sexy new rubber.

On the way I accidentally spun the back wheel up. This became my amusement for the rest of the wet ride to the rubber shop. It was only when I was about half a mile from the garage that the back stepped out a little too much for my comfort that I decided I'd be wise to behave myself for the remainder of the journey. Although upon arrival inside the garage my rear tyre did have a lovely smell to it, unlike the one emanating from down my pants.

At £220 for a set of 020's fitted I thought it was a fair price. The friendly bunch of staff carry a good stock of tyres so are likely to have what you want, but it's worth phoning up first on 0121 357 3998 to make sure.

Burning Indian Rubber

2007-09-21T14:04:00.000+01:00

(Written by Gaz and Cara)

Due to the severe lack of bikes this year we thought we'd finally get round to blogging our biking escapades in India. So here goes...

Last November we went to India for three weeks and while we were there hired an Enfield. It cost around £7 for one day and very conveniently was ready and waiting outside our hotel when we got up in the morning.

Our driver gives us a few tips on starting the bike.

Five minutes down the road and we've run out of petrol. It seems our £7 only includes the bike and not enough petrol to get us to the nearest petrol station (about 10 minutes away)!

One good thing about India is there are always plenty of people willing to help.

Out on the open road at last. Either Gareth has lost his nerve and is driving very slowly or the speedo doesn't work on this bike!

Bored with the main road we decide to turn off and take the scenic route. After about 10 minutes the scenic route turns a little less scenic and more like a sand track.

Gareth tries to manouver the bike out of the sand without falling over.

Back at the hotel. This is the first motorbike I have riden and I was having a lovely time until I was driven off the road by some angry men in a lorry...apparently women don't ride motorbikes...

Weapons Of Mad Delinquents

2007-09-19T11:18:00.000+01:00

(Written by Neil)

I recently suggested to all janglers who were coherent enough to comprehend the conversation that if they sent me their old photos I would attempt to piece together a brief history of how we became the fine upstanding members of the motorcycling community that appear before you now. (Okay stop laughing and get up off the floor).

What lies ahead is a journey not on any tarmac surface but through the annals of our own archives (picture quality courtesy of Kodachrome and dusty attics). A veritable montage of rust buckets, bone shakers and death traps, but each one carving indelible memories of camping trips, breakdowns, fall downs, gravel rash, close shaves and ultimately smiles and high miles.

Don't worry Lone Ranger (Loz), this article is not pointed solely at your endeavours to cross breed a trike with the rear end of a stationary vehicle, however, who could ever forget the poor guys eyes as the twin Cibies (carbs) reared up in his rear view mirror. Hi ho silver...... awaaaay :)

Triumph T110, Yamaha RD200 and the front end of what was soon to become the above mentioned trike. (That's what happens when you go away for a weekend, leaving the kids at home with an angle grinder and an over active imagination. They render this otherwise perfectly functional motorcycle into a Tripodosaurus).

The Tripodosaurus!

Neil and Loz heading off to Snowdon. (Muggings gets to be the luggage rack).

"High speed" thrills at Donnington Moped Mayhem. We lost but hold the record for best wheelie from a Chicken Chaser!

Suzuki VX800. Toured Europe, did standing quarter mile at the Isle of Man, hit the deck down car crash lane but always a solid work horse. Owned in different guises by three of the janglers. Carries a Jangle Jangle five star rating.

Loz showing a natural flair for trials. Yamaha TY250 and 175

The one that got away. This beastie had real potential but was shelved before British Aerospace would endorse it. Probably now in a hanger alongside the TSR 2.

Honda CX500 and VX800 (Both still in circulation).

Honda VFR 400 once owned by Mike. Holds the unofficial record for fasted time from Burntwood to Crazy Daze bike bash down in Kent. Upon arrival Mike was greeted with a can of Newcastle Brown ale then promptly chucked it all back up behind a burger stall.

Suzuki Bandit 600. Another one of Mike's. Tried and tested, still missed to this day.

So there you have it, how to go from teenage mutant delinquent to adolescent adult in a few easy steps; the toys get bigger, the tales get wider and the miles keep rolling in. It only begs the question, if evolution continues along its natural path, what will we be riding in five years? Mines a Nimbus 2000, anyone for the Millennium Falcon?

Temporarily Without Bike

2007-09-17T07:53:00.000+01:00

You won't believe it but I had a busy week at work last week. It's Richard's fault for clearing off on holiday, and it's Lee's fault for taking time off work with a bad eye. So, instead of office bound duties which primarily consist of reading and writing blogs, I had to spend my days in the factory being more constructive for a change.

The upshot of last week means I'm temporarily without motorbike, well at least I thought I was. Leaving everything to the last minute as I normally do, I came to the realisation that my MOT had expired, my tyres were illegally bald and my road tax was two weeks out of date. Friday morning arrived and I'd got it into my head that I was going to have to SORN my bike until I could get some new rubber and an MOT sorted.

However.....

Upon finding my previous MOT on Friday lunchtime I discovered that although the bike was MOT'd on the 9th September last year it's not actually due to expire until the 26th. This made my day to say the least. I was straight on line to tax it and now all I have to do is get some sexy new rubber one of the days this week and book it in for an MOT for Saturday morning. And then...... the weather's going to turn crap, mark my words.

Now that I'm back in the office this week I shall be sorting out and uploading a post that Neil has very kindly taken trouble to write. I'm sure you're all going to enjoy taking a read of it. I also want to apologise to Neil for not getting it posted on here sooner.

Lastly but by no means least, it's been learnt this weekend that Colin McRae has tragically died in a helicopter accident along with his five year old son Johnny, his son's six year old friend Ben and Colin's friend Graeme Duncan. My heart goes out to their family and friends. Colin was an ambassador to his sport, one of the greatest most entertaining rally drivers there ever was. This isn't the way things are supposed to happen. Life dishes out some real bum deals sometimes.

The Scotch Egg Challenge

2007-09-08T10:39:00.000+01:00

The idea of the challenge is to get a whole scotch egg in your mouth and eat it in one go. For anyone who doesn't know, a scotch egg is a hard boiled egg wrapped in sausage meat, coated in breadcrumbs and then deep fat fried. First up is Mozza entering from the fat bastard group in the pissed up catagory.

There goes the entry, get it in there big lad.

He's struggling, not what the bookmakers anticipated.

Someone grab the sick bucket. Failed miserably!

Next up it's Jez confident he can do it.

The entry.

The gag.

The rejection. Failed!

Next up the mighty Pete Miller.

The entry.

The blockage. Paramedics on standby.

Goooo on my son. Coming back against all odds it's a good solid win.

Next up it's Loz entering for the Hobbits.

The entry. The concentration is immense. There's real tension in the air.

It's in but it looks painful! Now is probably not the right time to ask him if he wants kebab and chips!

No problem, downing the scotch egg in record time smashing the two minute barrier.

Next contender is Neil.

It's not looking good. He's struggling to fit it into his mouth.

Oh no, this isn't looking good., pass over a paper bag.

Catastrophic failure!

It's Tom next claiming it would be easy.

The entry, he's looking cool.

Oops, there's a minor glitch, maybe a boiled egg blocking his windpipe.

And he's done it. An almost effortless performance. He went on to ask, next time could he have one laden with Tabasco sauce.

Matthew refusing to rise to the childish competition opted for a far more civilized approach to eating scotch eggs.

I'll leave you with some pictures taken a little later on in the evening.

Yes I'm no longer stuck at the top of the page with my trousers down!

2007-08-30T12:08:00.000+01:00

There's a couple of reasons for this post. Firstly I'm a bit fed up being stuck at the top of the page with my pants round my ankles, and secondly I thought that Mel could do with a little bit more fame. He's already featured on this blog, once trying to work out how to operate a mobile phone (an age related problem!) and another time handing me some newspaper for the outdoor toilet photo on the post below. He's an okay sort of guitarist you know having played in the odd band here and there over the years (not quite as good as me mind). I'm not entirely sure you'll have heard of any......... Trapeze, MGM, Phenomena and some other band......... Whitesnake I think they were called.

Anyway, he played at a local venue on Sunday night and here he is straining for what looks like a giant poo, and the guy in the background is obviously impressed by its enormity! I was going to use the picture for a caption competition but that wouldn't be right now would it....... however, any unofficial captions certainly won't be frowned upon...... hush my mouth, I never said that.

I never went to the gig, instead opting for a bike ride with Matt but apparently it was a fantastic night. Photos are courtesy of Sir Gobshite John PD PFF PRLL (Pro drinker, pro fly fisherman, pro Russian language lecturer).

Outdoor Toilet

2007-08-19T09:43:00.000+01:00

Let me introduce you to the local pub's new outdoor toilet system, formally known as a large wooden plant pot. Before you ask, yes, it is me sat on the plant pot, and no I didn't actually do anything in it although I suspect it would probably have been far more hygienic than the official pub toilets.

Boys And Their Toys

2007-08-15T10:20:00.000+01:00

(Written by Neil)

(With Mike away catching Moby dick it falls to yours truly to log the inaugural flight of Staffordshire’s newest stealth machine. In literary terms I am to the Beano what Mike is to the Guardian and I’m certainly no Lord Lichfield..... but here goes…)

The jungle drums have been beating for a while and the whispers slowly getting louder but finally the vision has appeared, and what a vision.

It’s common knowledge that we boys have to have our toys and it must be said that on this occasion Dean has excelled himself. On a sunny Sunday sat outside my house with Gaz drooling like a dog over a bone, it became obvious that the new kid on the block had grabbed his attention. So in time honored tradition Dean handed over the keys for the main man to give us the low down.

Have you ever experienced that energy that radiates from someone who has just got off their first REAL BIG roller coaster…. Well that was Gaz on his return, wearing Garfield’s smile from ear to ear he proceeded to enlighten us to just how cool this particular tool was. Ok initial findings aside it was time to head out to the hills.

With this being Nicola’s first experience of riding pillion , “steady away” was the initial order of the day as we chartered a route down to Cosford airport before hanging a right to Whitchurch exposing us to some “for 5miles” roads (Sorry local joke there….read Smiles not 5 miles) then into Llangollen and the horseshoe pass.

A short coffee break at the Ponderosa café at the top of the pass followed by a gawp at the other kids toys …………..

......before declaring I fancied seeing the sea……. So the trip extends a little as we head off via, Corwen, Bala, Trawsfynydd and over to Porthmadog. Beautiful scenery and sweeping dry roads it truly is possible to gain a two dimensional equivalent of flying on days like this. Reaching Porthmadog the road runs parallel to the Ffestiniog rail line and finishes at the harbour itself.

Its knocking on a bit now and having satisfied the munchies with some local hospitality its time to get back, with the sky turning ever darker and our resident optimist declaring we can get passed Capel Curig before it “persists with rain” we head north across the rail line and are rewarded with a close encounter of the steam kind (sorry folks missed that picture), then on into Bedgelert, a small village with an interesting tale relating to the young princes dog. http://www.data-wales.co.uk/beddgelert.htm Onwards into Snowdonia and past the Eastern side of Snowdon itself. There are many beautiful places in this world but you gotta go some to beat this region.

Heads down now and rattle along to the A5 (Memories of previous Dragon Rally trips over on the right. That should have Loz shivering at the thought, February on Snowdon…… go on Baldrick any more bright idea’s).

Retrace our route from Llangollen to home stopping to allow Nicola to get blood back to anything south of her knee caps. Well done for hanging in there, turned out to be a baptism of fire but she was still smiling. So an hour later we wave Dean and Nicola off and in keeping with the Jangle rules round off with a late one at the Pub.

Final Shot must go to the happy couple, Hope your toys bring you lots of pleasure.

Some Photos From Dean

2007-08-13T12:21:00.001+01:00

Here's a few photos from the 2006 Barmouth Beach Race Dean went to watch...........

And also a couple of pictures of his Ford RS1600i he lovingly restored.

Also in the news, Dean has part exchanged his R6 for an R1. There'll no doubt be a few pictures in the not too distant future.

Matlock Bath (Again)

2007-08-04T09:06:00.000+01:00

After a short debate on where we were going we left Neil's house in the direction of Matlock Bath. As well as being a tourist attraction Matlock has always been a popular meeting point for bikers. Summer weekends always attract hundreds of bikers. For us lot, well we've done it to death now and I should imagine it'll be a long time before we head back there.

Upon arrival we called in at the Riva, a pleasant little pub/restaurant and did a spot of people watching. As you do.

There's one thing about Matlock, there's no shortage of fish and chip shops.

A little stall selling full English breakfasts, burgers, hot dogs and candy floss no doubt. I wonder how long it'll be before we end up having to call our traditional full English breakfast the Euro Breakfast? Don't laugh, it'll happen, but there'll be changes. Big changes. Our sausages will be replaced by Frankfurters, our fried bread will be exchanged for croissants fried in olive oil, our bacon will be replaced by ham, baked beans will be replaced by olives....

Just so you can get your bearings Matlock Bath consists of a road, one side lined with, well mostly fish and chip shops, and the other side there's a river.

A little later on we headed off to a privately owned disused airfield were it is perfectly legal to practise wheelies ;)

Gaz and Cara on Neil's bike.

Gaz on Neil's bike.

Neil's bike seems to have become the unofficial Jangle stunt bike for just about anyone to have a go on. This you can't fault him for. Fair play.

The Mucky Duck

2007-07-30T12:47:00.000+01:00

Gaz and I went for a ride yesterday and surprise surprise ended up in a pub affectionately known as the "Mucky Duck" at Fradley Junction. The pub used to be a popular spot for bikers but now the numbers have dwindled somewhat, however you'll always find a few there on a sunny day.

Along the way I managed to take a few shots of Gaz getting his knee down. In case there's any nice policemen out there reading this I'd just like to point out that obviously none of the photos were taken on public roads. No, in fact all of them were taken on private property.... Honestly!

I'm saving the best photo of Gaz until Wednesday. All will be revealed soon.

▲The canal outside the Mucky Duck▼

Some Photos

2007-07-26T10:45:00.002+01:00

There's nothing much happening at the moment, largely due to the appalling weather we've been having in England so I thought I'd spam the site up a bit with a few photos.

Don't blame me, Matt took the photo. It was supposed to be an action shot of my new boomerang. The photo was taken on Castle Ring which is an iron age fort dating back around 2000 years as a guess.

This is Alex demonstrating how to make a grand entrance onto the pub carpark. The bike's a KTM 200 2 stroke.

I thought I'd stick this photo of John and Mel on the site as it represents perfectly how modern technology has left the old 'uns behind! Not only that but it gives them a little bit of fame on our site :)

And finally I thought I'd share a picture of Winnie taken at Blithfield Reservoir earlier on in the year just to remind people what summer actually is/was.

That's all for now folks.

What Comes Around Goes Around

2007-07-24T11:21:00.000+01:00

When we set this blog up fifteen months ago I had little concept of what blogs were all about. For me it was nothing more than free web space for my friends and I to upload our photos and keep a diary of what's been going on in our lives.

I'd have never guessed that eighteen months down the line the blog would have opened up a whole new world of friends. For me it's like a modern version of having pen pals. Not just one pen pal but lots of them.

Reading my meme a couple of weeks ago when I mentioned my love of boomerangs, Kate Isis took it upon herself to send me a hand painted Aboriginal boomerang all the way from Australia where she lives. This morning one beautifully hand crafted boomerang arrived on my desk and along with it came a huge smile on my face from ear to ear.

I'm going to fly it a couple of times (of which I'll try and get some photos) then it's going to be displayed on my wall and treasured for ever.

I was going to finish off by saying; "Kate, you really are a genuine, caring, thoughtful, lovely, wonderful and beautiful person." (Which of course you are, ten times over) but it's a bit slushy for a bike blog isn't it?

So how about....... "You really do fucking rock!"

Yip, that's the one..... perfect :)

Big S Gets Naked

2007-07-20T12:54:00.000+01:00

Big S got married last Saturday. The day and evening went well with both bride and groom departing the reception slightly worse for wear late on in the evening. From there they headed off to a local hotel for what you'd think would be a romantic night of passion. I don't really want to delve into the sex lives of Mr and Mrs Big S but after the amount of alcohol drunk I doubt that part of the evening went to plan.

Somewhere in the middle of the night Big S got up to go to the toilet. He got out of bed and went into the bathroom closing the door behind him. The only trouble was he hadn't actually entered the bathroom, instead opting for the exit door of the hotel room. There he was without a stitch on in the middle of the hotel corridor banging on the door to try and wake Mrs S. Eventually giving up he wandered downstairs to find the night porter collecting a suitable cushion along the way to hide his wedding tackle. No doubt pissing himself laughing, the night porter wanders back upstairs with Big S and his new friend the cushion to open his hotel room door with a master key. Well would you believe it, the master key wouldn't open the door. Another ten minutes of knocking on the door continued to no avail. Eventually in someone's wisdom it was decided that enough was enough and they kicked the door in. At this stage you'd probably be wanting to put the whole incident behind you.

But........

Of all the rotten luck, a friend of a friend happens to work at the hotel and he has kept the CCTV footage of the whole incident (For money making purposes of course). The landlord of Big S's local pub has offered £400 for the tape and Big S is offering to double any offer the pub makes. It couldn't get much worse really....... Unless of course it happens to make it onto youtube ;)

Oh and if you want to know who Big S is, just search our blog for the "Italian Grand Prix".

Bungee Jump

2007-07-19T12:07:00.000+01:00

Here's a few photos of the bungee jump held at the local pub on Monday evening. There was no chance I was going to have a go but I did go up in the cage five times to get some photos.

I was talking to Duncan later on in the evening and we decided it would have been fantastic for three or four of us to have had a barbecue up there. Not that it was ever going to happen but the idea was good. Just image it, sat on a garden chair two hundred and fifteen feet in the air, drinking a beer with some kebabs gently sizzling away whilst we admire the stunning views.

A view of the pub from the top of the crane (I should imagine you've already guessed that). My car's in the foreground, the red one just left of centre....That, you wouldn't have guessed.

Mark 1, Big Phil and Shoey who's blowing her nose on a sponsor form.

Don't be fooled, he was crapping himself.

Mark 1 on the way back up.

That's me.

A superb portrait of Dean and Nicola expertly taken by yours truly, and I don't care if you disagree. :)

Mark 2 taking a swig of sedative fifteen minutes before launch.

Mark 2

This is Michael the owner of the pub. Frankie, one of the bar staff got everyone to sponsor him without him knowing. In the photo he's thinking "Yes you, you little fekker, I'll get you for this."

Michael and Frankie.

That's your lot. I won't bore you with the other 165 photos.

Royal International Air Tattoo

2007-07-16T10:22:00.000+01:00

A rather damp 7.30am start to Saturday morning saw Matt and I heading down to RAF Fairford for the annual air tattoo. An hour into our journey the roads had dried out and we had a superb bike ride. I feel sorry for the poor buggers travelling by car though because there was a fifteen mile tailback of stationary vehicles all the way from Cirencester to the RAF base. It took us about twenty minutes to overtake everyone and I have to confess to wearing the biggest ear to ear grin a motorbike has ever given me. Upon arrival it turned out that had we have been travelling by car we would have been stuck in the traffic jam for two and a half hours! Things got even better once we arrived, motorbikes were given privileged parking right by the entrance! None of this parking in grass fields miles away from anywhere. No sir, we had tarmacked parking facilities!

Matt's and my bike in the foreground.

F-15 Fighter - Seriously noisy, seriously fast. A proper chaps toy is that one.

The Eurofighter - Easily the most awesome plane at the show (that we saw).

▲F-117A Nighthawk Stealth fighter▼

A Lynx helicopter doing a loop the loop!

Again, not sure what this was but it was noisy, fast and spectacular.

One of the USAF Thunderbird display planes.

▲Three Spitfires and a Hurricane▼

Three Spitfires and a Hurricane being escorted by the red arrows.

As you can see the weather was fantastic. Lucky considering it chucked it down all day Friday and again on Sunday. I managed to get thoroughly sunburnt and my face resembled a well cooked lobster. The ride home was a real blast and following tradition we ended up in the pub afterwards. Life's a real bitch sometimes.

For the interested, the pleasant journey there was down the A446 past Bassetts Pole, onto the A452, A417 and finally down the lovely A429 to Cirencester. Not a single motorway in site.

Lord Mike

2007-07-12T10:34:00.000+01:00

Loz has recently taken a trip over to Amsterdam for a long weekend and happened to stumble upon an English Pub! What do you reckon, time for a new business venture?

Other stuff in the news, Dean has recently had his birthday. What that has to do with building human pyramids I'm not too sure but it was a good idea at the time.

The chap on the right is Big Phil, and below is his sweaty ass smudging my car window.

This weekend Matt and I, along with whoever else wants to tag along are heading down to Fairford on our bikes for the Royal International Air Tattoo. (I've just received a text this very minute off Loz saying "Plane Spotting! Ha Ha not for me." so I can assume he won't be going. It's not like it's train spotting is it. Is it? Is it really THAT boring?)

Talking of boring, the wonderful and charming Miss Understood has described our blog as..... well tell you what, I'll paste in just what she wrote on her blog.....

"Mike (he's in my sidebar) usually writes about all of this really dull, boring, blokey stuff. You know…bikes and engines and beer and things like that. I don't know why I bother reading him actually, cos he normally sends me to sleep."

So the plan of action, seeing as we won't be too far away from where she lives, is to gatecrash her house early Sunday Morning and completely bore the pants off her whilst she cooks up a load of sausage and egg sandwiches as an apology..... If she can stay awake long enough!

Tedious Motoring

2007-07-05T08:49:00.000+01:00

There's one thing motorbikes have over cars.... You never get bored of them. Never.

Due to rain, rain and more rain I haven't bothered getting on mine for what must be almost a month now (The Tatenhill post was a little late uploading to the blog in case you're wondering).

Today I have to take a long boring drive down the motorway to collect a part for a machine. Not even the novelty of a new car can generate enough enthusiasm to make the journey. So, with built up frustration caused by lack of riding I had this brainwave that come rain, hail, sleet, snow, tornadoes or hurricanes I was going to take my bike instead. Brilliant idea, until I realised that the machine part is too big to fit on my bike. I doubt even Loz could invent a suitably ingenious mounting structure for the job! So sadly a tedious car journey it has to be.

I thought the following photo just about sums up my feelings.

Moi, the happy chappy

One Man and His Dog

2007-07-03T07:24:00.001+01:00

Just thought I'd share a photo I took yesterday evening of Bob and Sparty outside the local pub.

Tatenhill

2007-07-02T06:26:00.000+01:00

Matt and I took a trundle up to Tatenhill airfield so that Matt could have a chat with somebody about helicopters. He's now officially a pilot you know!

The airfield is situated just outside Burton on Trent in a nice quiet rural location surrounded by some fantastic biking roads. There's a public access area which offers a good view of the planes and helicopters taking off and landing and there's also a cafe. All in all it was a very pleasant couple of hours.

Winnie (my Blackbird) with Matt in the background.

A view from the cafe.

If you get your binoculars out you might just be able to see a helicopter which is exactly like the one Matt's been learning to fly in.

The Royal International Air Tattoo at Fairford is being held on the 14th & 15th July. It's £32.50 entrance fee which I think is good value. I might just take a ride down there. There's cheap camping to be had too because a lot of the farmers open up their fields for the weekend.

I can feel a jangle coming on!

Holidays in France

2007-06-28T09:19:00.000+01:00

I'm sat in the pub sipping a pint listening to Frank as he tells me he's taking a holiday to France with his wife, his best friend and his best friends wife. He has nothing organised as yet. I listen contently to his plans on where in the country they'd like to stay and what sort of accommodation they had in mind.

"Why don't you rent yourself a Gîte?" I enquire, expecting some sort of logical answer.

I should have known better.

"Fuck off man, there's no way I'm hiring a car and attempting to drive on the wrong side of the road."

Caption Competition Winner

2007-06-25T08:36:00.000+01:00

Eh up folks, sorry for keeping you all in suspense for so long but it's been a tough competition to judge this time round. Let me tell you this though.... Ant was never going to win it for a fourth time running........ Not a chance.

Every entry was superb and very funny apart from a couple that I didn't understand, but that might just be me being a bit thick. Right then, I'll delay it no further.

Wait.... before I go on I'd just like to say that I hate having to choose only one winner. You all deserve to win (apart from Ant because he's always winning and also the couple of entries I didn't understand).

The winner is............. oh I hate having to do this.......

The winner is............. drum roll.......

The winner is............. Ali, with her very witty comment; "Someone said it was Matt's birthday, so I thought I'd give him a blow job.. *hic* ... Mike, what do you mean "the other Matt"?

Caption competition

2007-06-12T06:37:00.001+01:00

This is what happens when you drink too much at Matt's birthday party and end up in a worse state than the birthday boy himself. It's been a while since we had a caption competition and I'm probably going to get murdered for using this pic for it. But I tell you what, I'll apologise now shall I, then run like hell? Usual rules apply whereby the winner gets absolutely nothing. Generosity abounds I know. Before I leg it I'll just quickly get the ball rolling with..........

"I'm still standing lalala la la la......... hick"

Wedding Photos

2007-06-03T13:11:00.001+01:00

As threatened by me last week, here's a few pictures taken from the wedding I went to. Without boring everyone too much, I tried to take them in a reportage style. I'd like everyone's feedback good or bad...... I can take the insults being a man and all that.

As if by magic there is a bigger version of them if you click on them. The wonders of technology.

Chef Wanted - Apply Within

2007-05-31T08:57:00.000+01:00

In the crowded restaurant on a busy Sunday lunch, the chef of the local pub decides to throw his dummy out.

We've all been there, we've asked a waitress what the soup of the day is and they've replied with "I'll just go and ask the chef". What most people don't bargain for is an irate raging monster of a chef stampeding out of the kitchen with a knife in both hands bellowing "It's packet soup and it's fuckin' shit".

Those were his exact words I kid you not!

Further more, neither do you expect the chef to then threaten to "stab the fuckin' lot of you, staff and management included", with the occasional "I'll punch your lights out" thrown in for good measure.

It's no surprise really that the chap no longer has a job.

Whilst the landlord was telling me the story of the traumatic events, I for some reason couldn't stop laughing hysterically.

"It's packet soup and it's fuckin' shit."

If you want to get yourself fired you'd have to go a long way to beat that one.

Birthdays, Weddings and No Guitars

2007-05-30T12:36:00.001+01:00

I apologise for the lack of posts lately but I've been a bit busy. Friday night was Matt's 40th birthday party in the local pub where we organised some live music. The singer guitarist took quite a bit of finding because we specifically wanted somebody who could play some Led Zeppelin stuff. I was supposed to be getting on stage so to speak with my guitar to play Babe I'm Gonna Leave You whilst the singer sang the lyrics and Andy bonged his bongo but I ended up drinking too much beer, and realising I probably couldn't play due to not even being able to see straight I suffered from the dreaded stage fright. It didn't help having a few critical people in the crowd who were musicians themselves. I regretted it the next morning though (Both the lack of guitar playing and all the alcohol). The guy is coming back to play in September and I here by announce to the world I WILL DEFINITELY PLAY MY GUITAR. Oh yes I will...... bring your ear plugs!

Loz never turned up so I thought I'd make him a virtual party goer.

I went to a wedding on Sunday and spent the day trying to capture the event in a reportage style of photography. Out of about eighty photos I probably took ten that I was really happy with. Anyway I'll post two or three over the next couple of days and let everyone else be the judge and I hope it doesn't bore you senseless like this latest post probably has.

Tenby

2007-05-21T12:18:00.000+01:00

We've all been to Tenby in Pembrokeshire, Wales, spelt Dinbych-y-pysgod in Welsh. I'm not too clued up on my Welsh language but roughly translated I should imagine it means, the bitch is a piss god, what ever one of those is.

The reason for going, apart from why the hell shouldn't we go, was because Matt has just come back from Florida after taking his helicopter pilots license and he's also the big four zero later on this week.

We stopped at a campsite called Meadow Farm which was no more than a ten minute walk into town and sported some stunning views of the bay. It cost £7 per night per person and came with some toilets and a shower.

A mass gathering of jangly tents.

Friday night was spent drinking around the tents until the early hours. At around 10 o'clock it was decided to have a barbecue so Neil and Gaz headed into town to find a Spar shop to buy some burgers, sausages, kebabs etc. Ten minutes later we had a phone call to say that the shop was shut so they'd bring back some fish and chips. After a full hour and fifteen minutes they arrived back. Whether the vinegar had got up Gaz's nose or something I'm not sure but he sounded decidedly slurred! He stuck to his story all weekend though that he never found a pub, there was simple a large queue in the chippy.

Saturday morning was a full on fat laden feast of sausages, bacon, beans, mushrooms and eggs, all washed down with cups of tea, or in Gaz's case, a can of Carling.

After breakfast we had a ride out to Pembroke Castle for a bit of culture.

From left to right - Neil, Ellie, Matt, Loz, me, Gaz and Cara.

It's a modern day Viking!

Seemed like a good idea at the time!

From the castle it was back to Tenby for a mooch round town to find a pub.

Tenby sea front.

Matt and Ellie.

▲Whilst we all popped to the pub, Neil did a vanishing act. Unbeknown to us he was accosting a little lad's spade to do a bit of sand writing.▼

It says - Mat, and underneath, 40th. I'm not sure who wrote 'smells'.

Back at the campsite and a couple of beers later it was time to impress the quiet campers with our skills at stunt riding.

That's me.... Who needs a surfboard?

Neil looking very stylish.

Loz trying to get some blood to his head.

Seven people on a bike... no problem.

That's Neil at the back attempting some grass skiing.

Gaz demonstrating some superb balance.

Well it was bound to end up in tears. Not much damage apart from a broken indicator.

Before any more damage to bikes was done it was decided to start building human pyramids.

Saturday night. Loz doing his finest Kenny Rogers impression. Either that or he's in pain.

We all went for a curry late on in the evening. Gaz, fuelled by alcohol excelled himself at the curry house and should be proudly entered in our book of fine dining experiences. That's one for another day!

We all left to ride home at different times on Sunday morning. Loz, Neil and Dean left at 9.30 and took a route back up the west coast to Aberystwyth then cut across inland to home. Matt, Ellie and myself left at 10 and headed up through Abergavenny, Hereford and Worcester. The A4013 between Hereford and Worcester is a fantastic road for bikes. Gaz and Cara.... well I have no idea. When I left, Gaz was refusing to get out of his pit.

All in all a fantastic weekend. Roll on the next one!

Comment of the weekend goes to Ellie for suggesting we all "put ourselves on her face"..... Don't ask!

Drunken display of the weekend without doubt goes to Gaz..... a sterling performance!

Winner of Saturday nights farting competition is still awaiting the votes.

Luigi

2007-05-14T09:38:00.000+01:00

The beer's flowing and I'm with a crowd of mates telling a joke about a wealthy Italian guy who's taken his lad to Harrods.

""I wanta suita for my Luigi with tha bigga tha fukina heada." he tells the female sales assistant as he repeatedly clouts poor Luigi round the head....."

""I wanta suita for my Luigi with tha bigga (clout clout) tha (clout) fukina (clout clout clout) heada (clout clout).""

I'm making impressive clouting actions by slapping my one hand forwards and backwards across my other hand. The joke's going well. Everybody is laughing.

"The assistant kits Luigi out in one of the shops finest suits."

""The suita, it'sa notta googa and a nota bada, it'll do for my Luigi with his bigga tha fukina heada (clout clout clout clout clout clout clout clout).""

Everyone's roaring with laughter. I continue enthusiastically.

""I wanta some shoesa for my Luigi with his bigga tha fukina heada (clout clout clout clout clout clout clout clout).""

More fits of laughter.

"The assistant is more than a little alarmed by this stage and so decides to take action."

""Look mister, I don't know what country you're from but over here in England we don't go round repeatedly smacking our kids around the head for no apparent reason.""

All my mates are eagerly awaiting the next chapter of the story. Still laughing hysterically.

""I tell you a story about my Luigi with tha bigga (clout clout) tha (clout) fukina (clout clout clout) heada (clout clout)." The Italian continues...."

""In Roma I havea the most beautifula wife. She has the most beautifula face in tha whole of Roma (I'm running my hands down my cheeks). And her boobies (I'm pretending to be cupping large breasts), the most beautiful boobies in tha whole of Roma, oh the boobies (more cupping gestures). (I'm now kissing the tips of my thumb and two fingers. you know the ones, the one normally used to pick your nose and the other normally used for giving people the bird).""

I'm dramatically building up to the punchline.

""Anda down belowa, (making upside down triangle gestures) the mosta beautiful in the whole worlda, tha most perfect, tha most tighta..... until Luigi come alonga with his bigga tha fukina heada (clout clout clout clout clout clout clout clout).""

Everyone's doubled over laughing. But wait, what's this? They're not looking at me. They're looking over my shoulder. This tells me they weren't actually laughing at my joke. In fact it transpired later on that everyone had already heard it. Have you ever had that feeling where you just know you've gone and put your foot in it? I slowly turn my head around and peer out of 99.9% closed eyes. It doesn't hide the truth. It doesn't hide the fact that there's a little old lady sat along side her little old husband drinking two cups of tea looking like they are in serious need of some smelling salts.

PS Sorry about my dreadful Italian accent.

Not A Good Weekend

2007-05-08T07:37:00.000+01:00

This is how I spent my bank holiday Sunday.... sat under a motorway bridge southbound on the M40, two and a half miles away from junction 9. Let me explain.

My mate Duncan's wife is away for two weeks. In the middle of her being away Duncan was supposed to be driving down to spend the weekend with her.

That was until he decided to break his foot at work last Wednesday.

Obviously poor Duncan was distraught at the thought of not being able to drive down to spend the weekend with his wife, so me being me took pity on him and offered to drive him there. Two hours there, two hours back, no problem.

Sunday afternoon at three o'clock I set out to pick him back up. One and a half hours into my journey in the outside lane of the motorway there's suddenly a big bang (actually it was more like a boooofff (pronounced like you'd say "beef" in French)), swiftly followed by clouds of smoke and strange rattling noises like that of a box of spanners. My engine seems to have suffered a catastrophic failure. This is verified on the hard shoulder by an oil slick underneath the car.

An hour later the nice chap from Green Flag arrives to collect the debris.

Two hours later I'm back home. Mr Green Flag is unloading the car as I'm reversing my bike out of the garage.

"Now that's what you call a proper form of transport." he pipes up.

"Yes and it's taking me straight to the pub! See ya."
.
.
.

I was sort of hoping I'd only blown the turbo on it but upon investigation things are a lot more terminal than that. Looking on the bright side, I've had it years and it owes me nothing. If anyone fancies putting a new engine in it, you can buy it off me for peanuts. It's an A4 1.8 turbo sport (petrol) and it has a 220 bhp superchip fitted.

This week I'm car hunting. I can feel an S type Jag coming on (now that I'm getting old).

By the way, the next time someone asks me what's the most I've ever done for a friend, I can now say I drove (well would have if the car had made it) for eight hours covering 440 miles over two days on a bank holiday weekend just so my mate could get a shag!

Brunstrom: Too Far This Time?

2007-05-01T09:45:00.000+01:00

Richard Brunstrom, the biker hating "zero tolerance" Chief Constable of North Wales Police seems to have been upsetting biker folk again.

In its latest anti-speed campaign, North Wales Police have revealed photographs, one of which was a decapitated biker. The photo shows the man’s head with his eyes still open lying on a grass verge. The photo was shown to journalists and local authority representatives at a meeting to promote road safety.

Brunstrom said: “We did it to serve a purpose. The images are there to make an impact today.” He also stated that the biker was travelling at excessive speed. This I suppose is fair enough, but disturbingly, Brunstrom said that the family of the dead man was not aware the image was being used in the campaign!

How lovely to know your dead son's/husband's/brother's/sister's/dad's decapitated head photo is being shown around to God only knows who without your knowledge. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if it doesn't end up splashed all over the internet at some stage.

I avoid political, ethical and personal issues like the plague on here but Brunstrom, I think you've gone too far this time.

Burnouts, Old Bikes & Bad Stomachs

2007-04-30T06:25:00.000+01:00

Gaz discovered a nail in his tyre which was unrepairable, so the only thing to do was buy another tyre and finish his old one off good and proper with a series of burnouts and rolling burnouts.

That was Friday. Sunday I headed over to the Classic Bike Show at Stafford County Show Ground. The most annoying thing about this was, I never found ANYTHING to buy. Not one single item. Well OK, I did actually end up buying something. It was a piece of diesel marinated cardboard impersonating a cheeseburger at a cost of £3.30!

Forget your Vincents and such like, this Triumph was my favourite bike of the show.

A superb BSA Goldstar.

Back to the burger...... it's poisoned me! Without going into too much detail, ever since yesterday afternoon I've had murky water exiting me with the force of a fire extinguisher. This morning I seem to have swapped from a water based extinguisher to one of foam. Not a good way to start my week. And sorry for sharing that one with you.

Any suitable donations would be greatly appreciated.... ice, cork, more toilet paper.......

Bourton-on-the-Water

2007-04-23T11:21:00.000+01:00

Finally Neil has managed to get the Yellow Belly on the road so we celebrated with a trip to Bourton-on-the-Water, riding at what Neil described as a "sustainable pace". Having said that, this description only came to light later on after a couple of beers down the pub.

A "sustainable pace"? Isn't that something you aim to achieve on an all day drinking binge?

Neil's Yellow Belly sporting one of Loz's home made Givi Luggage mounting racks. No bike should be seen without one!

Anyway, after a tedious slog down the M42/M40 we turned off onto the A429 in the direction of Bourton. After a few roundabouts that were, according to Neil, taken at "impressive lean angle" (again, beer induced conclusions) we were greeted with some fine twisty bends that put more than the odd smile on our faces. I remember riding down this road last year and not enjoying it but now I've had another go at it I've changed my mind.

Loz with his new "To the pub" £8 T-shirt

Loz with his daughter Ebony in Morton-in-the-Marsh, and Yellow Belly in the background.

Ebony's first trike.

Some superb old bikes on display outside Bourton Motor Museum

Neil, myself and Ebs

A jangle wouldn't be a jangle without some food along the way so we plumped to eat at the Mad Hatter Tea Shop on the banks of the river.

A fine beef in ale pie with chips, peas and carrots.

Apparently this was supposed to be an omelette. I'm surprised they've never been prosecuted under the Trade Descriptions Act! Not good at all. And if that wasn't bad enough, a bird decided to poop straight onto our table. Had it have landed on the omelette it might have added some flavour!

That sort of wraps up our day. There's not a lot else to say really apart from we managed to avoid the motorway on the way back which was an altogether much pleasanter experience.

Happy Birthday

2007-04-19T06:52:00.000+01:00

Let me tell you something. Today our blog is one year old.

I can hardly believe the amount of crap I've written on here over the last twelve months. Don't quote me on this but I think the figures are one hundred and eight posts by me, two by Matt, two by Gaz, one by Loz and one by Neil.

Whilst the writing has been enjoyable it's also been a right pain in the ass at times, but it's all been worth it just for the comments alone.

I'd really like to thank everyone who stops by here and comments. It's you people out there that help make the blog what it is.... you know, on the whole fairly shit and boring. Wait, that doesn't sound good does it. What I was trying to say was the blog would be fairly shit and boring if it wasn't for all those that comment. Redeemed?

I also know by our site stats that there are a lot of people who regularly come back and read what's on here (presumably because they find it of some sort of interest) who never comment. So to you people, a big thanks for coming by.

Here's to the next twelve months of drivel

Tutbury Castle

2007-04-12T10:08:00.000+01:00

On Easter Sunday I took a ride out to Tutbury Castle which was once home to the Mercian Kings and afterwards the Earls and Dukes of Lancaster. It's recently featured on the television series Most Haunted. That's largely down to the fact a lot of people think it's haunted. I didn't see any ghosts but I did see a right fit youngish lady dressed up in Viking Attire.

To be honest there isn't really a fat lot left of it to see but they do host quite a lot of event days. On Easter Sunday and Monday they had a Viking re-enactment event on which would have been fairly entertaining had I stuck around long enough to watch it and hadn't been distracted by the fit lady in Viking attire.

The South Wing/Hall/what ever they called it and a hanging man. Don't be alarmed, he's not real.

Hang in there matey

Sponsored by NEXT

Winnie

Call me sad but the most thrilling part of the visit was clapping eyes on a right fit youngish lady dressed up in Viking attire (Yeah I know, I've already mentioned the right fit youngish lady dressed in the Viking attire).... But listen, talk about the wrong place at the wrong time, she only went and got her ass right in the middle of my photo (rolls eyes).