Britain's Rudest Place Names

Whilst trawling the internet I stumbled upon a list of Britain's rudest place names. I thought it would be a good idea if ourselves and anybody else who reads this blog happen to be in the area of any of these places, stop and take a photo of ourselves/yourselves and your bikes (if you have one) next to the sign post and email it over to us. It'll be interesting over a period of time to see just how many places on the list get visited. I'll update this blog entry with pictures as and when we get any.

The List

Bottom Burn – Auchtertool, Fife, Scotland

Rotten Bottom – Meggethead, Scotish Borders, Scotland

Twathats – Ruthwell Parish, Dumfriesshire, Scotland

Hole of Bugars – Lerwick, Shetland Islands, Scotland

Twatt – Orkney, Scotland

Ring Burn – Glenwhilly, Dumfries, Scotland

Spunkie – Lugton, East Ayrshire, Scotland

The Bastard – Sheanachie, Argyll and Bute, Scotland

Bottoms – Gaerllwyd, Monmouthshire, Wales

Lord Hereford’s Knob – Twmpa, Powys, Wales

Sodom – Denbighshire, Wales

Panty Hill – Dolfor, Powys, Wales

Burnt Bottom – Beaminster, Dorset, England

Scratchy Bottom – Lulworth, Dorset, England

Shaggs – East Lulworth, Dorset, England

Piddle – Puddletown, Dorset, England

Girdle Fell – Byrness, Northumberland, England

Slag Hill – Allenheads, Northumberland, England

Lady’s Hole – Beadnell, Northumberland, England

Pratt’s Bottom – Kent, England

Thong – Kent, England

Cock Play – Bewcastle, Cumbria, England

Wide Open Dykes – Scaleby, Cumbria, England

Great Cockup – Bassenthwaithe, Cumbria, England

Bushy Bottom – Edburton, West Sussex, England

Loose Bottom – Falmer , West Sussex, England

Devil’s Dyke – Poynings, West Sussex, England

Titty Hill – Midhurst, West Sussex, England

Booby Dingle – Peterchurch, Herefordshire, England

Minges – Widford, Hertfordshire, England

Bummers Hill – Little Hormead, Hertfordshire, England

Bell End – Worcestershire, England

Lickey End – Bromsgrove, Worcestershire, England

Cocks – Bolingey, Cornwall, England

Brown Willy – Bodmin Moor, Cornwall, England

Cocklick End – Slaidburn, Lancashire, England

Buttock – Barley, Lancashire, England

Bottom Flash – Winsford, Cheshire, England

Lower Piles – South Brent, Devon, England

Herbert’s Hole – Chesham, Buckinghamshire, England

Clitsome Farm – Washford, Somerset, England

Cock Heads – North York Moors National Park, England

Dancing Dicks – Witham, Essex, England

Nob End – Little Lever, Greater Manchester, England

Sandy Balls – Fordingbridge, Hampshire, England

Cum Hag Wood – Coneysthorpe, North Yorkshire, England

Dyke – Bourne, Lincolnshire, England

Royalty Need Our Help

We may have struggled to entice Charley Boorman onto our blog but we have had an email from the first wife of King George Abed of Sierra-Leone, apparently! Can you believe it? And the best thing is, I think she'd like us to help her relieve ourselves of our hard earned cash in what I think you could call a fleece operation, presumably to better her own wealth....

rita abed (rita_101_abed@hotmail.com)

Reply-To:
rita14_abed@yahoo.com

To:

Subject:

Mrs Rita Abed

Greetings
+22507500630

Based on the information and recommendation I got about quick growth of business, investment and commerce in your country, I deemed it necessary to write and inform you about my interest to invest in any viable venture in joint partnership with you.

I am Mrs Rita Abed the first wife of king George Abed K.S.M the king of mende tribe in Sierra-Leone. On the 19th May, 2004 my husband was murdered by some rebel group on the accusation that he is a great sponsor and in support to restore the democratically elected President of Alhadji Tejan Kabba. Almost half of the palace was burnt.Fortunately I was not in the place when they raided the palace my husband married 4 wives with 16 children two of the wives, with my 3 children where murdered in cold blood while my second son escape the incident with bullet wounds on his right leg at the moment where the remaining families are I don?t know their way about whether they are alive or not. Right now I am left alone with only one son since the sudden assassination of my husband the family has been displaced and totally disorganized left with noting. Early that year befor my husband was Late husband was murdered he came back from travel and gave me some document to keep for him as usual he told me that he deposited 18.5 million USD in a trunk box with private security company in Abidjan Côte d?Ivoire as a family treasure. So I decided to go and search for the documents where I use to keep them I discovered the documents covering the deposit he made with the company and some other documents like his will and other documents for his business. As my town has been a serious war zone, I made arrangement with two peace keeping force to help me and my son move out of the country, however we moved out of Sierra-Leone successfully, to Abidjan Côte d?Ivoire where we are now. I have gone and conform the deposit with the company with all the documents all the documents are with me here.

Now I wish to transfer these funds abroad and enter into a business venture as the country (Côte d?Ivoire) is no longer in peace since they conducted their Presidential election on the 22nd October 2004 the country has witness all sort of political unrest ranging from ethnic clash which resulted to killing of innocent citizens and strangers people are living in fears as the country is no longer that peaceful nation as it was before due to this reason that I have decided to contact you, to assist me to lift this my consignment out of this country. Please I need your assistance. Waiting for your urgent reply. Thanks and God bless.

Best regards
Mrs Rita Abed.+22507500630

Christmas Photo Competition Entries

Wow, what an overwhelming response we've had to the competition! An astonishing 3 people have entered. Duncan is going to have his work cut out with this one.

All the pictures can be enlarged by clicking on them.


Mike's entry


Gaz and Cara's Entry (A proper chaps living room is that!)


BLSB's entry, titled "I know which one I want for Christmas", although she did say in her email that technically she's already disqualified because she hasn't actually taken any photos herself.

Sobering Thought

Hi all, and merry Christmas from a very drunk Gaz and Cara.

We went to the CMC sale today with the intention of getting me a pair of DRAGGIN Kevlar jeans for Christmas, as I so often go out for a burn and can't be bothered to wrestle with my leather jeans, so I just chuck my jacket on and tear off in my usual clobber. This is no good at all, one day, hopefully not too soon, I'm going to get skinned alive! So theory being, if I had a pair of jeans that felt and looked normal (not like something Rod Stewart would wear), loose fitting and machine washable, I'd be much more likely to wear them, and being as I only wear one or two pairs of jeans anyway, I'd have them on at least 50% of the time! Needless to say they weren't in the sale and they didn't have them in my size, so I ended up with some gortex waterproof "modern" trousers, which rock. But I'm still having a pair of these next year. Their web site, should you fancy a look is http://www.dragginjeans.co.uk/.

On a really sober note, and the inspiration for this post, every biker in the world needs to read this article that I've nicked from their site, and Dean should pay particular attention to the counter steer reference!

Update - On Gaz's request I've moved the article into the comments section to keep the main page a little less cluttered and it can be best viewed here...... Mike

All Sorted

I had to rush home at 2 o'clock yesterday to get my rear hugger fitted. After a half hour of my time and a little less skin on my knuckles the job was complete.

Monday Monday, So Good To Me

Warning..... For anybody who knows me, you may find what you're about to read disturbing, maybe even shocking, and I suggest maybe that you sit down before continuing.

I'm going into work early! That's right, I'm going into work early!

(I'll pause while you pick yourselves up off the floor)

I'm actually going to leave my house before 9 o'clock, can you believe it? Don't answer that! But wait, it's not because I'm snowed under with increasing orders and demand for our product, it's not because I'm struggling to cope with the constant upward spiralling pressure placed upon me by legislation, it's not because we're experiencing the usual monday morning staff unreliability issues, it's not because I'm having to attend one of those bored meetings (no, you're wrong, I have spelt it right) and it's got nothing to do with me trying to get a backlog of paperwork sorted out which has arisen because I've spent too much time writing on this blog. No, it's fair to say I'm not about to have a work induced breakdown.

Never before have I been sooooo excited about going into work, never before have I looked forward to a monday as much as I'm looking forward to this monday........... Am I over doing the dramatics a bit? Don't answer that one either, because you'll be wrong, wrong I tell ye...... today my postman is the greatest postman in the world, today my postman is delivering me a carbon look rear hugger. Yippers, today is going to be a great day.

The Buffalo Theory

It's got nothing to do with motorbikes but it's too good not to share. It goes like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.