Monday, January 29, 2007

What Should Have Been An Easy Job

I finally got round to changing the oil in my bike yesterday. After twenty minutes or so wrestling a fairing, I was left with a half nekkid Winnie.

So far so good.

I rummaged around the garage, eventually finding an old washing up bowl, the ideal recipient of used engine oil. Then, carefully aligning the bowl under the engine, I unscrewed the sump plug, stood back and admired the old oil depositing itself into the bowl. Satisfied with the job so far, I disappeared into the house to make a cup of tea.

Half an hour later I returned.......

"There is no oil in the bowl!!!", I muse.

"The oil has migrated!!!", I further mused.

Why the hell didn't I check to make sure the bowl didn't have a three inch crack in it?

Do you have any idea how far 3.9 litres of warm engine oil can travel across a garage floor?

13 comments:

ellie said...

Mike said "Do you have any idea how far 3.9 litres of warm engine oil can travel across a garage floor?"

There are so many variables in the equation eg, the dimensions of the garage floor, and the viscosity of the oil but I would hazzard a guess and say a bloody long way!!!!

Bet your garage smells really good though!

Rig said...

Sorry Mike but that was nearly a coffee over the keyboard moment!

Only because I did the same thing myself a few years ago and now have a lovely green green carpet in my garage to cover the stains!

Elaine Denning said...

Lets forget the beach clean-up on the south coast, and flock to Mike's place to save the snails and slugs, and all the other cretins you killed in nthe process.

You're a bad, bad man Mike. Shame on you.

But that smell.

It is kinda nice.....

Ant said...

Right then, you will be glad to hear ive contacted the Enviroment Agency and they say its only going to cost you a few grand to sort out the damage, i.e digging up the garage floor to remove the offending liquid from your porous (spelling?)floor, booms to protect the wildlife, and the obvious police cordon around your house due to the seriousness of the event, you will probably be getting a call off the French blaming you for the oil thats washed up on their beaches too!!

Anonymous said...

If you like the smell of oil you should try putting a motorbike in the sitting room...fresh oil smell all day long!

ellie said...

I thought I was alone in loving the smell of oil, seems to be a bit of a theme here with the ladies. Maybe it's a smell representitive of a real man.

Anonymous said...

No problem Mike, this is the perfect opportunity for you to clean your garage. Why not get a battery powered (electric I mean) bike.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, not related to this post but dont forget the g mail invite and the font site. Oil see ya soon

Mike said...

Ellie & Miss U... I'm chucking my aftershave out and in future will be smearing myself in old engine oil in order to make myself more appealing to the opposite sex. I'm going to save myself a fortune in smellies.

Cara, I'm still impressed with you, allowing a bike into the living room!

Ant, thanks!!!

Rig, luckily I've got floor paint minimizing the damage.

Pete, I've emailed you.

Anonymous said...

i've not been allowed a bike in my house for 3 years-ish. i miss them awfully

Anonymous said...

i might ask the finance manager (wife) if they make smelly candles that smell like old british bikes. then i wouldn't need to spend so much time in the shed

Ant said...

Im sure you could buy one of those candle making sets from Woolies and add a bit of engine oil to the whole thing, how romantic would that be, picture the scene...staring at each other across the table after a surprise romantic meal accompanied by dimmed lights and your favorite music genty playing in the back ground, and just the slightest scent of Castrol fully synthetic bike oil floating around the room, then as you draw close to the partner of your dreams you whisper softly into their ear..."Its not just oil, Its liquid engineering....." Your onto a winner with that one guys.....let me know how it goes loz.....

ellie said...

You busy this weekend Ant?

Sounds perfect!

Although I am a little concerned that you actually know where to buy candle making kits! Is there something you want to tell us about the last W.I. fete you were at?