Red Light District

Written by Neil

Well it’s Sunday morning and the clocks have gone forward which can mean only one thing….. Lighter nights, better weather and jangling. It also means I’ve got to put my money where my mouth is and get the infamous Yella Belly (Alias XJR1300) standing on its own two rubbery round things.

Can’t be difficult, I only took it apart to “fettle” (mind you that was eight months ago!). So eyes down and on with juggling four down pipes, the bottom box, a tube of exhaust paste, a selection of spanners and the must have “cuppa tea”, its funny where you can wedge your big toe when you run out of hands. Two hours later and all's looking good, the queen bee is ready to buzz, battery in and a final smirk before hitting the go button……. NOTHING! Flatter than Loz’s finger after a day’s tool setting!!

Okay that’s cool, charger on, kettle singing, Sunday paper in hand , I’ll see you later my stripy friend.

(Tick tock , tick tock……. Times up)

So I’m back, obligatory smirk and hit the button…….. Oh yes boys she’s humming, warm her gently through, listen to those pipes burble, bring it on.

Hang on, what's that RED LIGHT mean???? Doh, switch it off quick it’s the oil pressure. There’s eighteen quid of Castrol’s finest sloppy stuff in there, what’s going on??

I know, what’s through the round window?…… NOWT , its empty. Now I know that’s not true and the floor's not wet so come on Mr Castrol where are you hiding? So I drop the sump plug and out he runs, I check (Again) the pressure relief on the filter, nope that’s happy. OK time for the big guns ….. Enter stage left Mr Haynes with a Cuppa. Bit of reading later and oh yes there’s two pressure relief's in the sump. Now, it's stood eight months minus any sloppy liquid so there’s half a chance me thinks that the little blighters are stuck. OK exhausts off, sump off, got Ya !! ….. Oh no I haven’t, they're fine. Blow through the pipes, check the sump filter, all happier than Michael Barrymore in his swimming pool.

So now what???????

Enter stage Right Mr Haynes. The tea is starting to kick in by now and that hour I lost in bed this morning is a distant memory…. HOW MUCH OIL SHOULD THERE BE???

3000ml without a filter, 3350ml with a filter ….. Yep that’s me I’m OK with that one………… BUT Wait! What’s this sneaky little sub note previously written in early morning invisible ink. Total capacity 4.2litres….. NAAAARGH !

Neil