Not A Good Weekend
This is how I spent my bank holiday Sunday.... sat under a motorway bridge southbound on the M40, two and a half miles away from junction 9. Let me explain.
My mate Duncan's wife is away for two weeks. In the middle of her being away Duncan was supposed to be driving down to spend the weekend with her.
That was until he decided to break his foot at work last Wednesday.
Obviously poor Duncan was distraught at the thought of not being able to drive down to spend the weekend with his wife, so me being me took pity on him and offered to drive him there. Two hours there, two hours back, no problem.
Sunday afternoon at three o'clock I set out to pick him back up. One and a half hours into my journey in the outside lane of the motorway there's suddenly a big bang (actually it was more like a boooofff (pronounced like you'd say "beef" in French)), swiftly followed by clouds of smoke and strange rattling noises like that of a box of spanners. My engine seems to have suffered a catastrophic failure. This is verified on the hard shoulder by an oil slick underneath the car.
An hour later the nice chap from Green Flag arrives to collect the debris.
Two hours later I'm back home. Mr Green Flag is unloading the car as I'm reversing my bike out of the garage.
"Now that's what you call a proper form of transport." he pipes up.
"Yes and it's taking me straight to the pub! See ya."
.
.
.
I was sort of hoping I'd only blown the turbo on it but upon investigation things are a lot more terminal than that. Looking on the bright side, I've had it years and it owes me nothing. If anyone fancies putting a new engine in it, you can buy it off me for peanuts. It's an A4 1.8 turbo sport (petrol) and it has a 220 bhp superchip fitted.
This week I'm car hunting. I can feel an S type Jag coming on (now that I'm getting old).
By the way, the next time someone asks me what's the most I've ever done for a friend, I can now say I drove (well would have if the car had made it) for eight hours covering 440 miles over two days on a bank holiday weekend just so my mate could get a shag!
17 comments:
What a nice thing to do for a mate. Did you break his other foot when you met him after your engine blew?
I agree with what you said about the Jag and old though, it just summoms up the old man image or the rich bitch lady who lunches.
What do you reckon I should buy then Ellie? To be honest anything with four wheels would do me for now!
If he was shagging, I bet she was on top.....
The best thing I can do for you
Mike is put you on my Lotto list.
How about a Lambergini Gallardo.
Before you say anything there have been people on it for 30 years now, so don't hold your breath.
Anyway, it's the thought that counts? Y:-) Paddy
It seeems you would do a lot for a friend, lets hope you would not bend for one. 1990's advert slogan for someone batting for the other side.
Mike - lol - thanks for the pronunciation comments, it made so much more sense when I could repeat the actual sound the engine made!!! (I did, honest.. I read boooff, as in poof with a 'b', then I reread it correctly.. silly cow!!)
So, an S Type Jag huh? Hubby says he wants a Mazda MX5... I say if we win the lottery,we could have one each!! Sex on wheels!!
Miss U - I hadn't given it a thought but you're probably right now I think about it.
Paddy - I can't afford one of those but cheers for sticking me on your lotto list. I'd stick you on mine but I never have a go so there's not much point.
Peter - xxx ;)
Ali - I knew my school French lessons would come in useful one day. MX5, bonne voiture!
"Mike said...
What do you reckon I should buy then Ellie?"
How about something from the
Mercedes S class?
Saw a sweet looking 2006 SLK200 roadster in silver with black leather interior for £32,000. Much less pretentious than a Jag don't you think? ;)
I think I'd buy myself a Zephyr 6
Ellie - Much more expensive!! Can't you find me something MUCH cheaper?
Miss U - Wasn't that a big old bus? Probably worth a fortune nowadays.
Here is a list of the top 10 most sexy cars a man can drive as voted for by women.
Top 10 Most Sexy Cars
1. Aston Martin
2. Porsche
3. Lotus
4. Mercedes-Benz
5. BMW
6. Jaguar
7. Audi
8. Range Rover
9. Jeep
10. Ferrari
Your Audi was a 7 and a Jag would make you a 6 but my suggestion would move straight past all the drug dealers and chavs in BMWs to a very respectable 4th position.
At what cost does image become unimportant?
Being a Jag man myself that's what I'd go for. But then I am older than you so the flat cap and tweed jacket suits me better! You've done the Beemer thing already anyway. And did people let you pull out at junctions? I think not. Fact about Beemers - they are the most common car to be siezed for no licence or insurance - and not just the old ones either. And the most common car to be used in crime? - The Vauxhall Chavalier of course! In a merc at least you could pass as a doctor! Think of the doors that could open!!!!
Ellie - thanks for all your research. I could live with a Merc I suppose. Anyway, first priority is to bang a new engine into my car so I can at least part exchange the thing.
Nick - Chavalier.... fantastic. Never heard that one before! Didn't you have one of those once in a bling bling gold colour?
found you via paddy and see a couple of friends here *hey ellie & paddy* i'm looking a cars too, but more along the hybrid/crossover type mini suv ( i know, ya'll are thinkin gas guzzling american cow), but i need the space to carry stuff...so, a sexy car is out of the question for me...good luck on finding one that suits you ;)
Just popped over...you're still havin' car problems. See you later I need a hit quick, where's the nearest bar fromr here.
Y;-) Paddy
Hi Savannah - Finding the right car is proving harder than first thought.
Paddy - You're not going anywhere near a bar unless I'm invited along.
miss.u, what an excellent choice always loved them.
ellie, i'll tell you what price image becomes unimportant £700 for my chavey drug dealer BMW, its so bad i dont think a chav would even steal it !!
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