Thursday, May 31, 2007

Chef Wanted - Apply Within

In the crowded restaurant on a busy Sunday lunch, the chef of the local pub decides to throw his dummy out.

We've all been there, we've asked a waitress what the soup of the day is and they've replied with "I'll just go and ask the chef". What most people don't bargain for is an irate raging monster of a chef stampeding out of the kitchen with a knife in both hands bellowing "It's packet soup and it's fuckin' shit".

Those were his exact words I kid you not!

Further more, neither do you expect the chef to then threaten to "stab the fuckin' lot of you, staff and management included", with the occasional "I'll punch your lights out" thrown in for good measure.

It's no surprise really that the chap no longer has a job.

Whilst the landlord was telling me the story of the traumatic events, I for some reason couldn't stop laughing hysterically.

"It's packet soup and it's fuckin' shit."

If you want to get yourself fired you'd have to go a long way to beat that one.

10 comments:

Elaine Denning said...

It must be really annoying if you've trained as a proper chef, and then spend your life stirring up powder and water! Poor bloke.

I make lovely home made soup.

1 tin Heinz Tomato soup
4 cherry tomatoes, squished
1 dash olive oil
Bung on some basil.

Perfection!

ellie said...

In my local hotel the bar used to resound to cries of "Powder Soup" when the chef walked in. The name stuck! Poor man.

Ali said...

OMG! I think I would have just laughed at him, probably right before I became his first stab victim!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm laughing my head off just thinking about it.

I was fired from McDonalds after dumping a strawberry shake over a customers head for being an arsehole. Plenty of attitude but no snappy comeback.

Mike said...

Elaine - I could understand his frustration. Are you absolutely sure your home made soup is home made?

Ellie - You're a bit posh aren't you, drinking in hotel bars?

Ali - I'd have sent you some flowers to your hospital bed side.

Kate - Getting fired from McDonalds is not an easy thing to do you know. I'm impressed and you've gone straight off the top of the Richter scale in my estimation. I can just imagine you backing your actions up with some impressive profanity.

Ant said...

Whats the point of soup in the first place....vegetable or meat flavored warm water basically!!!....mmmmm!!.Give me garlic breaded mushrooms as a starter anytime....

Anonymous said...

My Word! Bad day at work doesn't even begin to cut it. Psycho!

savannah said...

too damn funny! i love this story...actually, having known ( and still do, i guess) a few chefs...it must have been mighty hellish in that kitchen! *picturing gordon ramsey*

Mike said...

Ant - Garlic breaded mushrooms... bit of a cliché don't you think? Sort of the prawn cocktail of the nineties.

Blither - Psycho is a good analogy. I forgot to mention he also threatened to burn the place down!

Savannah - Aren't all kitchens a bit on the hellish side?

Around My Kitchen Table said...

Brilliant story! Why are so many chefs psychos? The constant heat must fire up weird connections in their brains, causing them to periodically short-circuit. To be fair to the poor bloke, it must be extremely irritating to have some dim waitress ask you for the umpteenth time: "What's the soup of the day again?"